A resident went home yesterday, quite unexpectedly. All who knew her were quite surprised by such a sudden departure, so quietly in the twilight of a cloudy harvest weekend.
Several of us, whose world she had so recently shared, gathered together later in the November dusk.. As we sat around a rectangular table breaking bread, hoping to find solace in each other, our usual sense of decorum quickly evaporated.
Perhaps it was the remorse that we hadn’t had time to wish her adieu or a sadness, quite submerged, that she traveled before us. Who knows what provokes the volcano of emotions that erupt when a kindred soul departs from our world.
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K, our leader, our young friend and mentor (as well as so many more things to each of us,) joined us at the end of the long table which was covered by a crisp orange linen cloth holding a pewter vase of Autumn flowers.
Perhaps it was K’s presence that provoked such unexpected honesty and revelation of emotions. Perhaps her very youth (anyone not of our generation is considered young) was the impetus for the other five women seated together to speak without hesitation.
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One had the supreme honesty to say, “Perhaps I am a bit jealous I did not join her.”
As her words provoked a gasp from the listeners, I had to wonder if there was anyone who could deny her truth.
The departure was without great event. There were no attendants in white coats aiding her as she closed her eyes. There had been no commitment to an institution requiring medical assistance. She still effortlessly recalled names and invariably arrived on time for appointments. Seemingly, there had been no warning bells to indicate her abrupt exit.
Rather the gracious lady closed her eyes quietly after a pleasant luncheon and went to the sleep we have all been promised.
As we raised our glasses in tribute not only to her, but to each other, I think we all felt a quick shaft of envy pierce our hearts.
Each of us have tasted loss of loved ones, so death is not a new reality. Yet now when we feel it moving closer and the road becomes lonelier, our hopes change,
We pray for an ease of departure without too much of a burden for those we cherish. We strive to prepare our souls and hearts for the inevitable journey, and attempt to cleanse ourselves of detritus before that final trip.
It was late when we drained our glasses and reluctantly, left the rectangular table. As we whispered good night, I could not help but wonder what a new dawn will bring for each of us.
And, yes, I said a silent prayer.
