A Trembling

It’s a strange feeling, almost as if the world is standing still.

Of course, it’s not. My own TV is on; unusual for me at this early hour.

I can hear other channels in adjoining apartments. Not the words, but the soft hum of different voices.

I have mixed emotions.

I know what I believe was my well thought out choice in this fierce political campaign, yet......

Several emails from people I respect make me wonder how kindred souls can have so much in common and be so far apart on this crucial Tuesday of November 2020.

I wrestle with adding words to the fray and choose not to make the emotional fire any brighter.

Is it cowardice? Is it prudence? Or is it a reluctance to defend what I believe so zealously?

I treasure those who inhabit my small world. Some of them are recent newcomers and cherished for their presence.

Others have been part of my complicated life sharing the shocks of sadness, the triumph of survival, and yes, the day to day mundane reality of existence. That is when loneliness threatens most.

Life is not easy, nor should we ever expect it to be. I know I dare not lose the support of my companions over a political choice. Nor do I wish to question their allegiance to a cause or a candidate.

I do not claim to be wiser, or intellectually superior than so many fellow Americans. I merely disagree, and question the rancor.

I question why it is necessary, and I hope I have misinterpreted today’s climate. I do so wish to be wrong and have misjudged the trembling emotions I feel vibrating.

So I will keep my TV on, and like the rest of America, wonder about tomorrow.

And yes, I will pray, not for a winner, but for Americans, no matter how we voted.