An Unexpected

There are a few things I do reasonably well.

And perhaps more than one or two more, that I could do better.

However, there is also a category where I perform miserably. I cannot, despite decades of trying, follow directions.

This has caused distinct problems on more than one occasion. Notably opening reusable food containers, but I believe I have already told you about that.

Recently, however, my inability has re-emerged with one of my beautiful and thoughtful Christmas gifts.

I received an automatic soap dispenser, a delightful tool especially now when everyone washes their hands constantly.

I was delighted, thankful and excited with the new luxurious and useful addition to my home and lifestyle..

However, when I dispensed with the crimson tissue and looked for directions in the silver box, I found none. However, being a bit (maybe more) of an egotist, I thought most likely I really didn’t need any.

After all, how difficult could it be? My gift needed no assembly, merely the addition of liquid soap. That would be simple, (or so I believed) even for a person lacking in talent and/or ability for following directions.

I quickly found a home for the new arrival, and filled it with the lovely lavender soap that had been also part of my gift. And all seemed well, and for the first time that I can remember, I thought, “Well, I think I did it right.”

Until shortly thereafter when I learned that the soap dispenser and I were apparently joined at the hip. When I enter the room where it rests on the marble counter, it dispenses soap.

More soap is dispensed when I turn the knob on the door to enter it’s new abode.

I am starting to believe it dispenses soap every time I I rise from a chair or turn on the TV.

I am rapidly running out of lovely lavender soap, and that might not be a bad thing.

I have researched google and even watched several U Tube videos giving implicate advice and directions on automatic soap dispensers. All to no avail.

I am beginning to fear I was gifted an emotionally starved appliance that has bonded to its new owner with relentless determination. And I think when the well of lovely Lavender soap has been emptied, the needy new Appliance will be looking for a new home.

Hopefully with a human who knows how to follow directions even when they are not included in the box.