How To Stop A Burglar Naked

Criminals never want you to be home when they strike (it makes their job harder, after all). But they aren't always the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, and break-ins turn into messy standoffs more often than you might expect. According to the US Department of Justice, at least one household member is present during 28% of home invasions. And sometimes the wannabe-thief ends up paying the price instead. Read on and find out what can happen when a burglar sneaks into the wrong house.

When Bruce Lee Gets A Bowie Knife

When one hapless San Antonio burglar waltzed into Mike Jaime's bedroom and started fiddling with the television, he didn't think his victim would be there — and he certainly didn't expect what came next. Jaime grabbed an 8-inch Bowie knife that had belonged to his grandfather and set out to ch-ch-ch-change this robber's mind. That one got away, but Jaime spotted another perp behind the house, tackled him, and put him in a mixed martial arts chokehold while his compatriots, who had returned to help their friend, all begged for mercy. If this story seems too crazy to be believed, just wait until you see the video.

Really, Really DIY Home Security

Back in November, a couple from Colfax, WA woke to the sounds of a downstairs prowler. They quickly dialed 911, but soon called back to let the authorities know that the burglar had been "secured." When deputies showed up, they found the wannabe robber Zip-Tied in the middle of the home's garage! The burglar later complained about his mistreatment at the hands of his victims, but the cops were unmoved and booked him anyway.

Seattle Nude Dude Beats Rude Dude

Another couple, this time in Seattle, didn't need any Zip-Ties — in fact, they didn't even need clothes. When Randall Dykstra heard what he thought was a cat yowling near his truck, he didn't bother getting dressed before he went outside to investigate. He found it "wasn't a cat at all," and kept the wannabe carjacker in a headlock until the police arrived, while his similarly naked girlfriend hovered nearby with a baseball bat.

How a "Carpenter's Hands" Became a Burglar's Worst Nightmare

A security system and a savvy homeowner can make a great team — just ask Chris R., who used his security system, speed, and smarts to recover $7500 worth of property and put a criminal behind bars. It all started when his SimpliSafe security system sniffed out something fishy:

"While I was sleeping a guy crept into my house, loaded my backpack full of valuables, and helped himself to a beer in the fridge. After 45 seconds my SimpliSafe system alerted him and me that at 4:30 AM in my house something wasn't right. After a quick online check I realized it was the front door sensor which made me pretty certain someone had been in the house."

Chris did some fast detective work:

"I threw on some shoes and tried to pull on my coat and keys which were strangely not by the door, in fact they were nowhere to be found. That was the moment I knew this wasn't a false alarm. As I got down to my car in the dark, I realize there was a shape near me in the bushes that should not be there. A person."

And got in touch with his protective instincts:

"I'm not a violent person. I don't wish anyone hurt or suffering. Hell if the same guy had knocked on my door and asked me for a couple hundred bucks I would have probably given it to him. He moved on me but I yelled something fierce and loud. He turned and hit a sprint, loaded down with my things. I was faster and in less than a block he was beneath me. We struggled. I have strong hands though, I built houses for years and carpenter's hands are not something you ever want to feel on your throat. With a good bit of screaming and banging around I was able to drag him up to a neighbor's door and get the police called."

Don't Try This At Home

These stories are inspiring, but they're not the norm. All experts agree that you should never confront a burglar, and for good reason — the U.S. Department of Justice found that homeowners end up getting hurt or worse in over 250,000 burglary cases per year (just this week, a Denver man, a Colorado Springs couple, anda Rapid City homeowner found that out the hard way). A home security system can scare burglars away before they get through the door and bring in the police when you need them, and one with mobile alerts can warn you before you walk into a potentially dangerous situation. You don't need to be Rambo or a former carpenter to keep out of harm's way — you just need to be smart, savvy, and prepared.