Woman Driving Cross Country To Celebrate Acts Of Goodness, Gratitude, Finds Healing After Loss Of Mom

NORTH FORK, NY — October will mark one year since Mary Latham woman packed up the car and headed out on an epic cross country road trip to find stories of goodness and gratitude across the nation — all in memory of her beloved mother, who she lost to cancer.

Along the way, Latham has chronicled her journey with words, stories, and images, capturing the kindness and acts of pure goodness she's found along the way.

Her GrAttitude Project includes a Facebook page, as well as a website, moregood.today and newsletter where she has collected stories of people touching lives by paying it forward.

The GrAttitude Project is spelled that way it is on purpose, with the emphasis on attitude — being grateful every day is an attitude one can choose to embrace, she said.

So far, she's traveled to 21 states and stayed with 71 hosts in different towns.

One recent Facebook post chronicles a life-altering moment on her journey.

"In 2009 I traveled with my family to Colorado Springs. We attended a second cousin's wedding that weekend and then stayed a few extra days to enjoy the sights. On the last day my father drove me and my mom up Pike's Peak. We never got to the top because of the weather conditions but I can still remember jumping out of the rental car into the freezing cold and snow so my dad could snap a photo with my camera of Mom and me. You couldn't even tell where we were because everything was a haze of wind and white, but it was one of those moments I remembered the most from the trip. . . Today, I got to the top," she wrote.

Eight years ago, Latham said, when she neared the pinnacle of Pike's Peak with her mother, the world was open before her, filled with opportunity and promise.

She had just graduated college, and was about to move to Manhattan and live with her two sisters — and yet, she was stressed about finding a job. A few months later, she began working and pursuing her passion, photography, in her free moments.

"A few years later, cancer took my mom away. And from that point on, I made a promise to myself: I'd only do things that make me happy. No matter how scary or how ridiculous they seemed. Because fear for me was losing her. And I managed to make my way through that time. There isn't a second I don't think of her, miss her, wish she was able to see all she has inspired me to do on this journey . . . but I realized something after she died. Fear didn't have much meaning anymore."

Of course, she said, she was scared starting the road trip, especially when the car makes a weird sound and she's all alone in the middle of nowhere. "But they're just fleeting moments. Brief little attempts to derail me and send me back home. I ignore them. Daily," she wrote.

When she reached Pike's Peak, she was on Day 270 of her journey, with 20 states under her belt.

"This morning I finally got to the top of Pike's Peak with my host. . . The entire drive up, I thought about every single person who has come into my life, every single story, every single host, every single experience I've had and I realized something huge. My heart wasn't shattered anymore. Because all of those things, all of the people, all of the love. It's putting me back together. So, from the top of Pike's Peak, and one of the most emotional moments of the trip, I am sending all of my love out to you. Thank you for mending my heart with your support and for helping me spread my mission of More Good. Mom, we finally made it to the top!"

Latham left the North Fork on Oct. 29, 2016 — appropriately, in her mother's car, on a journey to honor the woman whose loss forever altered her life.

Her mother Pat was only 61 when she died after a long battle with breast cancer.

But even when facing the most daunting fight of her life, her mom, Latham said, focused on finding the beauty and hope in the world and not letting tragedy and despair overcome.

Latham will always remember words of wisdom from her mom. When Latham, who was working as an
attorney in New York, learned about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings in 2012, she was in tears.

"I called my mom. I used to call her every day when I got to work," she said. Crying, she shared her grief about the Newtown tragedy.

Then she told her about a stranger who had bought her co-workers coffee at Starbuck's, paying it forward.

"She told me that there were always going to be these terrible things that happen. You have to focus on that other story, that person who bought coffee for others. Those are the things you have to focus on," Latham said.

In those words, an idea was born. In February, 2013, on Valentine's Day, Latham launched a Facebook page, as well as a website, moregood.today and newsletter where she collected stories of people touching lives by paying it forward.

And so, Latham set off on the journey of a lifetime: She packed her mom's 2008 blue Subaru Outback and is headed to every state in the country, where she has met with people and heard their stories about giving back, about good and positivity during a time when the political landscape is marked by turmoil and negativity.

Latham, 29 and a wedding photographer, described how her mother's death colored every page in the book of her life.

"After my mom passed way I quit my job at a law firm in Manhattan and bought a one way ticket to the Caribbean and changed my life," she said. "It was brave and crazy but it was mostly the best decision, the best thing I could have possibly done."

Later, she lived in Italy for a few months.

When her mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer, Latham was only 13 years old. "I attempted to run away, because I thought, 'This means she dies.' I didn't understand."

And over the next years, Latham said her mother triumphed many times over cancer's setbacks. "She kept getting through all of it, and I thought she was always going to be fine, and fight through it, because she was so strong."

But as the cancer worsened in 2013, Latham found comfort and strength in sharing stories sent to her from individuals about random acts of kindness, including a roommate who lost a phone in a cab but saw it returned, to her door, by a Good Samaritan.

Eleven days after The GrAttitude Project launched, Latham's mom had surgery at Sloan Kettering, a surgery where there had been "only a small chance of it going wrong. But it did." Only hours later, Latham and her family were gathered in that waiting room, during the worst minutes and hours of their lives; her mom died at midnight on a Friday.

"We were all in that waiting room, and I'd gone to my email and read them a few stories" from those sharing stories of acts of kindness, Latham said. "We were all just crying but those stories were nice, a little piece of hope during a really horrible time."

Latham, who'd promised her mother that she'd turn the idea for the GrAttitude project into a book one day, said her hope is that the published book, after her road trip, will be shared among hospital waiting rooms.

"People are in hospital waiting rooms, during the worst times of their lives, waiting for the people they love so much to die," she said.

The book is meant to offer hope‚ and will be dedicated to her mother, Latham said.

After her mother died, Latham said she was in a very dark place. But even though she didn't post any GrAttitude stories for a short while, others posted, in her absence, keeping hope alive. "I realized, 'I can't let this project die. This is for my mom," Latham said.

The stories, and focusing on the positive, actually helped her heart to heal, she said.

Latham has spent time with new friends in cities and states where she has traveled.

Along the way, Latham has interviewed people with stories that reflect the positivity of the human spirit, shot video, and taken photographs, with updates on her website so friends and family could share her journey.

Her plan is drive to every state and fly to Alaska and Hawaii, Latham said. There's no set timeline. "If I'm at the most amazing cheese fair in Wisconsin, I don't want to feel like I have to leave and get to the next place," she said.

The trip is a journey of the heart, one Latham is taking alone, with her mother in every thought, story and destination.

"It's her car. It's something that was inspired by her. And in a way, I really need to do it alone," Latham said.

The whole concept of the trip, though, is meeting people, hearing their stories and acts of kindness, and staying with friends old and new. "That's when you realize you're not really ever alone," she said.

By sharing acts of kindness, Latham is touching lives. "At first I didn't know if anyone was even reading. Then this girl, a nurse, sent me a Facebook message. She told me she got home from work every day and got into bed with her husband and read him whatever story I had posted that day. It was her favorite part of the day."

Another time, as she was leaving a wedding she'd photographed, a security guard her her GrAttitude Project story and gave her a check for $200, to help.

Of the road trip and book to follow, Latham said it's a forever gift, a promise made and kept to her mother. "I very much feel like she's with me now."

Photos courtesy of Mary Latham.