Letter To The Editor: Missile Dick Chicks On Visit To Murphy HQ

Saturday, 27 October 2018
Santa Ana, California

To the Editor:

Having just emerged from the dry heat of the Mohave Desert while on our 2018 World Domination Tour, we were shocked to find that we had been dragged into a conflict between a Westchester, NY Republican state senate candidate and the darned DemonRats.

It is true that we tried to visit our dear friends at the Westchester Republican Party office in early October. We wanted to help with their campaigning, poor things. We were not directed to go there by anyone. How dare they accuse us, of all people, of being puppets of the DemonRat Party!? (Yes, we said it: Demon Rats!)

Now we need to address the matter of convenient conspiracy target George Soros. As everyone knows, George Soros spends all his time writing checks and personally delivering them to every violent lefty paid protester in the country. Why would trillionaire Republican housewives from Mar-a-lago like us have anything to do with the likes of him? Our husbands would never allow it!

It is true that we are allowing our many admirers to connect with our important work by donating to our tour via our Fractured Atlas fiscal sponsorship, it is just offensive and bizarre to suggest that this makes us besties with a yankee librul like Soros.

In conclusion, we would appreciate it if the Westchester GOP would focus on the important work of telling lies about their opponents and suppressing librul votes, which is the only way they can win in NY. Meanwhile, we will continue our mission of traveling around the country and rewarding the "Golden Richard Award for War Profiteering" to our fine American companies like General Dynamic, Lockheed Martin and Raytheon (only #2 in war profiteering according to Business Insider, but we know they'll be #1 next year if they try harder). (We like Mrs. Marilyn Lockheed Martin too, whose company is currently #1. No offense!)

The Missile Dick Chicks

In their words:

The Missile Dick Chicks are a group of trillionaire housewives based in Mar-a-lago. (We used to be from Crawford, TX when George W. was president, but we gravitate towards where power is from.) Current info can be found at Missile Dick Chicks on facebook or instagram, background material at missiledickchicks.net.

SEE: Soros Conspiracy Theorizing Goes Local

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