Quilters Ease 9/11 Pain With Love, 1 Square At A Time

WESTCHESTER, NY — Susan Wolman, who lives in New Rochelle, was a new quilter in 2001; her hands had not yet become experienced in the art — but when the morning of 9/11 dawned bright and blue, darkening suddenly with horror, she, like so many others in her quilting group, felt called to help.

She and other members of the Village Squares Quilters guild, which now meets in Scarsdale, came together with willing hands to help create quilts that would help to stitch together hearts broken on 9/11 in an outpouring of love from around the world.

Wolman, whose story about her 9/11 journey with the Village Squares Quilters was chosen for a podcast by The Moth, said it was her friend Mary Anne Ciccotelli, whom she met in the summer of 2001, who first conceived of the idea for the Pelham, New York Quilt Project after attending a vigil in her small town. Ciccotelli decided to create a quilt for each of the nine families in Pelham who had lost a loved one — and from the first stitch, the project blossomed into a mission of giving.

Wolman was an elementary school teacher on 9/11, with her own daughter a high school student, when the planes crashed into the twin towers, changing the world forever. "I thought, 'What do I do? Should I go home? I can't abandon these children.' It was pretty terrible."

Wolman stayed with her students but was gripped by fear as the horrifying images repeated again and again on television screens. Wolman volunteered to help Ciccotelli, who now lives in Utah, with the quilting project.

And from that first day, Wolman and the guild have spent years quilting to help others, lifting them up, one square at a time.

Wolman felt a tangible sense of gratitude to Ciccotelli for organizing the group effort and welcoming her to take part. "I was a novice; I wouldn't have known how to do it," Wolman said.

Ciccotelli made an online appeal on several quilting group sites, asking for quilt blocks in various sizes in red, white, and blue, which she planned to stitch together.

The response was immediate and overwhelming. Quilt blocks poured in from across the country, from Canada and New Zealand, Wolman said. Ciccotelli created an online site detailing the quilts' progress with photos and updates for all to share.

Even those who had little gave everything they could.

One group from British Columbia sent a complete quilt top, Wolman said. "They told us, 'We're sorry we couldn't send the whole quilt. We wouldn’t have money to pay for the shipping.' When we opened that box and looked at that, it was amazing."

After the quilts were created, those who'd worked together to finish them set out to make the deliveries.

Wolman has said that she was worried, wondering how a quilt could make a difference in the face of the unspeakable tragedies the families of 9/11 were experiencing.

One of the recipients was a teacher, who had lost her 26-year-old daughter.

The teacher, surrounded by her friends and staffers at the school, spoke about her daughter, then wrapped the warm quilt around her shoulders. "It was overwhelming," Wolman said.

Wolman also recalled a woman who said to her child, 5: "Look what these nice ladies did, to help us remember Daddy."

Still uncertain if the quilts could help those facing their darkest days, Wolman told her young elementary school students about the project. One child said that when someone is scared, they like to hide beneath a blanket to feel safe. Another said the quilts would help the families of the lost know that their loved ones were not forgotten, she said.

In the words of children, there is truth, she said.

Years later, when Wolman and her husband were in Quebec City, she met a young woman who was visiting with her fiance; the woman asked Wolman to take their photo. Talking, they realized both were from New Rochelle — and that Wolman had, in fact, delivered a quilt to that woman after the loss of her husband on 9/11.

"Until I saw the woman in Canada, the change in me, because of the quilting project, was minimal. I'd handed the quilts to them, and I was happy to be a part of it — but it wasn't until I saw her again that I really felt the depth of the connection."

They embraced in tears.

It was in that moment, Wolman said, that the meaning of those quilts became forever clear. "You are giving it to them with your heart," she said. "It's not money that you're donating for their husband's funeral. You are giving something of yourself."

The very act of quilting came naturally to Wolman, who'd always loved working with her hands and teaching others to do the same. She'd learned to sew while working as a teaching assistant and living with the parents of a college friend. Her friend's mother taught her to sew; her first piece was a corduroy jacket with buttons and cuffs, she said.

"When I was in the classroom, I always believed and still do that children learn best by using their hands," Wolman said. She taught her young charges to make hand-pieced placemats, imbuing the exercise with lessons about area, parameter, and fractions, she said. Many of her students still have those placemats.

From the beginning, Wolman, who savors the beauty and touch of fabric, used her talents with a needle to give back. She made a quilted sleeping bag for a little girl, and has since made quilts for new babies and friends battling health challenges.

After 9/11, Wolman's involvement with the Village Squares Quilters guild continued to grow. She's been a member of the group now for 20 years, once serving as president.

She attended shows and was incredulous at the sheer beauty of the work created by VSQ members.

"We have aged and many have died over the past 20 years," Wolman said. "When I look around, they look just like everyday people. But then I see what these hands have produced. It's just overwhelming."

In the face of 9/11 and other tragedies, her group quilts, she said.

"Quilters often respond with quilts and kindness," Wolman said. "As a group, they’re remarkably kind and giving."

Today, her guild donates to many organizations, including the Furniture Sharehouse group, where people can donate used furniture for those in need. "We decided, as a project, that we would make quilts to donate to Furniture Sharehouse," Wolman said.

One client was welcomed by a selection of bright, colorful quilts handmade with love. "The woman said, 'I’ve never had a choice of anything in my life,'" Wolman said.

Another quilt donated had been made by Wolman and a member of the guild who had recently died. Gravely ill, that guild member had been able to stand to cut the pieces. Wolman cut them and the woman, despite her frailty, was able to bind them together, giving even in her last days. When Wolman told the woman who chose the quilt the story, she said, "I'm going to remember that for the rest of my life."

The quilters also donate to hospital neonatal intensive care units, where the quilts are placed on top of isolettes so parents can find their tiny babies. Others are donated to a women's prison — where non-violent offenders are able to keep their newborns with them for 18 months — and to veterans' nursing homes.

"It's a very powerful community," Wolman said.

Most recently, Wolman worked on a quilt to commemorate lives lost not just to COVID-19 but to those who died due to other illnesses during the pandemic. Her own brother died during those dark months — and Wolman hopes to craft a quilt for his tireless and loving caregiver.

Although the quilt was painful to create during such a time of great loss for so many, Wolman said all who participated, giving blocks for their loved ones, are forever grateful.

"That was another act of quilting," she said.

Wolman has also made quilts to celebrate great joys — her newborn grandson and other babies, for friends that survived cancer.

For those who might hesitate to make that first step, who wonder if a quilt can, in fact, make a difference, Wolman offered insight earned after years of stitches and hours of love: "It's never a mistake to do a kindness."