On The Road With Johnny B ..My Daily Gripe

Ever wake up in a bad mood? Maybe it’s the winter starting..Maybe it’s the wonderful world of auto parts or maybe I just have some gripes.Actually I have a list of things that just stick in my craw. First of all as we use to say at The Parts Warehouse “its not a lung.” None of my stupid complaints will change the world, nor will they cure the common cold. But these are some things that roll around my mind and just have to be said. Why can’t motorcycles have mufflers? Now don’t give me the old “loud pipes save lives” excuse. If a sound is behind you as you move forward you cant hear it till its ahead of you. If my car dropped the muffler on the LIE, I can promise you I would have a ticket in five minutes.Don’t get me wrong I Love bikers and they are almost always great people. Just don’t give me the sonic boom treatment when I am trying to eat my dinner at an outside café shaking my the ice cubes in my Gin and Tonic. Just idle out of town. You don’t need to re-live “Easy Rider” everytime you fire up your Hog.

One of the worlds  greatest inventions of all time is the crosswalk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been almost flattened by some beanhead either chatting on a cell phone or just not paying attention. I don’t need the words Escalade or Camry stamped into my forehead till the day I die. A few weeks ago I almost got creamed by a Town of Brookhaven safety officer. I would have sued Brookhaven Town if I would of gotten smushed,but I’m sure they can’t afford it with all the corruption money they have to lay out this year.

Are the new GM cars just plain ugly? I thought the Pontiac Aztek and the Chevy Avalanche looked like something designed by the Three Stooges art institute. But the new crop of GM cars are just plain bad. Maybe it’s an Impala? No it’s a Camry. No it’s a Honda. No it’s an AMC Pacer. What the heck? What is it? Also why would GM spend billions of dollars on the purchase of SAAB(then sell it at a loss) and drop Oldsmobile and Pontiac. No wonder the Japanese, Germans,Koreans  and yes Ford are kicking their butts.

I’m a big fan of anything involving auto racing But NASCAR has become like the WWF of racing. Isn’t the purpose of racing; if you build the fastest car you win? But not with NASCAR. I think instead of fining and punishing drivers and teams for so called cheating, they should be commended for original thinking. Hell if it worked for Good Ole Boy Smokey Yunick it should work for anybody. “It aint cheating till you get caught” That was Smokeys motto. Restrictor plate racing is just plain dumb. And it creates and almost soap opera like setting..Balls to the walls boys.

Why is diesel fuel so much money? I have owned many a diesel vehicle; Diesel Benzes, VW Rabbits.One of the reasons you would buy a diesel vehicle is that the MPG was great and the fuel was always cheaper than gasoline. In Europe where 40% of the vehicles are diesel powered,fuel is 30-40% less than gas. For years when I drove in diesels you were almost part of this automotive cult. But all of a sudden when diesels become more known in the USA (Powerstroke Fords and Dodge Cummings) and more profitable the oil company figured out some way to triple the price the last few years.That’s just greedy. Hey Mitt and Obama want to fix the economy. Make diesel fuel and home heating oil what it should be priced at and not this inflated taxified fuel.

Do you know that you are pricing yourself and future generations out of the old car hobby? It happened with Corvettes.It happened with muscle cars and it’s going to happen with all collectable cars.Part of the problem is one word “Ebay”.When Ebay allowed dealer to do 90% of the Ebay Motors listings we were doomed. Part of the reason some young people have embraced the custom compact trend is simply put…cheap speed. You can go out and buy any number of Hondas, Neons and Mitsus for a bargain price. Throw some “bolt-on” speed stuff and vroom, vrromm you have a fast and fun car. Plus these youngsters help each other out.. I’ve seen more than once. One of us has a bumper in the attic that they bought for $10.00 during the Nixon administration and because it’s supposed to be worth $200.00 now they will hang on to it until they get that price. Well guess what? Help a brother out! Sooner than later there will be a whole generation of people that just can’t afford an old car..Well I feel better now.That was my Daily Gripe.

This "gripe" brought to you by Port Jeffs own Carlisle Johnny aka Johnny B. For more "gripes" and cool classic car stuff visit  http://carlislejohnny.com/