Letter to the Editor: The Schreiber Gambol

To the Editor:

Well, I will certainly get a lot of "heat" for this, but am expressing honestly the remarks, concerns and experiences of many parents at Gambol.

I speak from years of experience. I have put three children through Schreiber and each time experienced the same problems, concerns and stresses that many parents do at this function. My children graduated in 2000, 2002, and this year, 2010. None of the problems I will outline have ever been addressed by the school or its Gambol committees, yet I have heard them echoed throughout these years by many parents in the crowds, crushing to try to catch a view of their child as they enter the "red carpet, Hollywood style" Gambol entrance and its ensuing event.

Only parents who pay a fee of $30 each have a place to sit – on a few bleachers that will not accommodate all the parents, even if all had the money to reserve a place. A family of two parents and two brothers or sisters will therefore have to pay $120 just for the "exclusive right" to view their child enter. Imagine adding the cost to seat grandparents as well; and you could be facing a bill as high as $240! As mentioned, there is also just not enough seating to accommodate all guests if they could afford it – this fee is in addition to the cost of the prom, dresses/tuxes, limos, etc.

So the "rest of us" stand – in huge crowds behind the perhaps 50 to 100 feet of barricade – vying for spots to catch a glimpse of our children. This crowd gets very deep, parents get very concerned that they will not see their children (sometimes you might get a glimpse of the top of their heads, if lucky) and chaos begins to ensue.

A huge screen is placed so we "all can see," however, as you can see in many Gambol photos, it is not seen! The bleachers are always in the way, the screen is placed way too low for the crowd to view, and the seated parents often stand, making it all the more difficult to view the screen. This year, the screen was so low that many of the seated parents themselves were not able to view it.

 

The result? Angry, stressed parents and family members who become very upset that they will not see their child, and actual fighting ensues. Parents and their families are pushed and shoved as if in a crowded NYC subway car, spend most of their time complaining and not enjoying the event, and the comments range from "this is absolutely ridiculous" to "oh sure, the town's 'rich' get to see their kids while the rest of us poor schmucks are treated like peons to the royalty." I promise you, this is the case year after year.

This year, one grandmother sitting on a lawn chair behind the barricade, directly behind Assistant Principal Julie Torres, actually had to be removed by her family as her leg bleeding. The crush of the crowd results in many minor injuries – toes and hands stepped upon, elbowing, people hit in eyes and heads by each others cameras or equipment. I, myself, recovering from just week-old abdominal surgery, was turned away from trying to sit on the bleachers, despite offering the "parent in charge" extra money to do so. I stood in pain and was tossed about as if a rag doll.

Parents get so upset by this. They start becoming angry, taking their frustrations out on each other. "Stop pushing me, expletive expletive" are the rallying cries and even a few women begin to cry because they missed seeing their child. This experience becomes so overwhelming for them.

Also, don't ever bring your child's toddler sibling to this event if you do not "pay for a seat" – the child will get bruised!

By the way? This "problem" could be simply solved by making the barricades "longer" – there is certainly enough space to do so. Have them set up "marathon run" style for a longer stretch, and have the graduating seniors just walk further from their limos and buses. Have the cars line up further down the road – as mentioned, this is certainly an option with the huge space at the Sands Point Preserve grounds and was always an option on Campus Drive as well when the prom was held there.

It's so illogical to have this same problem occur year after year when it could be easily solved. The seniors would probably enjoy the walk even more, being cheered on by the crowd this way.

So, once inside, our 17- and 18-year-old students are then encouraged to "gamble" in the "casino," despite many parents aversion to such. I find it ridiculous that the "Gambol committee" makes a point to prohibit drugs, alcohol and other addictive behaviors, yet encourages them to "get started on the road to gambling." What happened to the idea of enjoying food, music and dancing and each other's company amongst the students? After all three of my own children's Gambols, the students came back from prom reporting, "The boys spent the night gambling while the girls stayed inside, dancing alone."

I have often heard students remark, "It was OK, but to tell you the truth, I would have preferred a private party in my home with my close friends."

Schrieber? ... Gambol Committees? ... please take note and finally do something about this.

Signed, a very concerned parent, speaking for "the rest of us."

Elisa Hale Tolins