Signs Urging Motorists Not To Drive Under Influence Can Stay Put

FLANDERS, NY — All it took was an infusion of faith: After a fight to keep a sign erected on private property in Flanders urging motorists not to drive under the influence or text and drive, the battle was won Friday when the case was dismissed in Southampton Justice Court.

The controversy erupted when at least one person complained about the signs to Southampton Town.

On Friday, a judge exempted the sign for religious purposes. Tocci had a verse from the Psalms book of the Bible added to the sign: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Tocci thanked Wedel Signs, not only for donating the first sign but for also donating and installing the addition to the signage. And she thanked the community for standing by her family's side to share words that she and others said could save lives.

"Whether it was signing a petition, sharing an article, purchasing a shirt, sending a text, and the many prayers that have flooded in — they all stood behind our sign. I received hundreds of messages and not one that thought removing this sign was a good idea or that the sign was 'obnoxious,'" Tocci said.

Lorraine Paceleo, the vice president of the Bay View Pines Civic and Taxpayers Association, complained about the signs to town officials, Tocci said.

In a June 14 email to Murphy, which Tocci obtained by Freedom of Information Law request and shared with Patch, Paceleo wrote: "Are we to live with this obnoxious sign forever because none of your code enforcement officers / department can enforce or be the complaining party?"
Paceleo also asked to be kept anonymous for fear of "retaliation."

Paceleo said she had concerns about "informal memorials" set up on roadsides across the nation with flowers, crosses, and even blinking lights. "This is what a cemetery is for — these are very disturbing and distracting to drivers and should be taken down," she said.

Paceleo did not immediately return requests for comment.

The signs stand as a testament to two beloved family members lost — and to a little girl left motherless by one of the crashes, Tocci said.

One side of the sign on Tocci's property on Flanders Road says "Save A Life: Do Not Text And Drive," with the years of Barbara Tocci's life, 1966 to 2014. The other side shows Hayley holding her infant daughter and says: "Kadence Will Grow Up Without Her Mom: Do Not Drive Under The Influence. Hayley Riggins, 1987 to 2014."

The signs had stood for years but recently, as she was set to drop Kadence off at school, Tocci said a situation arose that brought the child to tears.

As they were headed down the driveway, they were met by three Southampton Town code enforcement officers, Tocci said. "All were pleasant, professional, and helpful, yet they were there with the issue of the sign." Kadence burst into tears, she said.

The bottom line, she said, was that Kadence, who lost her mother, was upset to see the officers discussing the signs."This poor child is holding on to the safety message, so nobody loses their mom like she did," Tocci said.

Tocci added that with all the "actual violations in the area," she could not understand why people were questioning a sign, on her own property, that she says serves as a public service message.

"What harm is caused by telling people not to drive under the influence or not to text and drive?" she asked.

Tocci said she wanted to thank the town's code enforcement officers for their professionalism along with Riverhead Town Supervisor Yvette Aguiar and Southampton Town Supervisor Jay Schneiderman. She thanked Southampton Town Justice Deborah Kooperstein.

The outcome was a result of "everyone spreading the message," Tocci said. "We all came together as a community and resolved the issue. This is what 'teamwork' is all about — and it's how we should all work together in our community."

The verdict made one little girl very happy, Tocci added. "You all have put the biggest smile on Kadence's face!" she said.