Local Teachers' Wedding Marks Sweet End to Summer

Over the summer, two local music teachers were married on a small island in New Hampshire's Squam Lake.

"Our guests were taken to Church Island on beautiful wooden boats and given a tour of the lake by the New Hampshire Science Center," said Pamela Simpson, the middle and high school chorus teacher in Bronxville.

All 75 guests were treated to champagne and hors d'oeuvres before the ceremony, which was performed by the couple's friend, an Episcopal priest.

Simpson and her partner Janet Gillespie, an Irvington music teacher, were the first gay couple married on Church Island.

The two, who have been together for over 18 years, said they wouldn't get married until it was legal in a state in which they lived. "We always expected New York to be the first place, not New Hampshire," said Gillespie, who has owned a summer residence with Simpson on Squam Lake for the past seven years.

After meeting at Westminster Choir College in Princeton, New Jersey the couple moved to New York so that Gillespie could pursue a career as an opera singer while Simpson was teaching in Brooklyn Heights.

In 1999, Simpson began her career in Bronxville. She said that while she didn't tell anyone at school specifically about her sexuality, she did ask the then-superintendent to add 'significant other' to the personnel directory in addition to 'spouse.'

"He said absolutely. He wanted to be as supportive as possible," she recalled. "I've had a lot of support in Bronxville from faculty."

Gillespie, who has been in Irvington since 2003, has had a similar experience. "My attitude always has been, 'I need to be myself,'" she said.

But the two have struggled with self-censorship, particularly with regard to discussing their outside-of-school lives in the classroom.

"I invited Pam to a rehearsal of Select Chorus because she's a super-gifted choir teacher," Gillespie said. "I introduced her as the Bronxville chorus teacher and left it at that." After the rehearsal, she recalls a student approached her wondering why she hadn't just introduced Simpson as her partner.

"On the one hand, we want to show that we're comfortable with who we are and be out, but on the other hand, we want to be professional," said Gillespie. "We don't want to be seen as having inappropriate conversations with students. It's a tricky spot to be in." 

As a testament to the accepting natures of the Bronxville and Irvington communities, the couple didn't even consider the possibility of negative repercussions from the school districts when they submitted their wedding announcement to The New York Times. The paper contacted them just before the wedding and the detailed feature ran on August 27. 

Both women reported receiving congratulatory emails and cards from current and former students and parents.

"Often people are waiting to take their cues from you. If we are unwilling to take that risk, then how are they going to support us?" Simpson said. "But it is a little scary to put yourself out there."

The two described the wedding as well worth the wait. "It was really awesome; it exceeded our expectations," said Gillespie, adding that, "the guests seemed more overjoyed than we were." 

There were a few guests, however, who initially were less enthusiastic. While Simpson's aunt and uncle were supportive of the couple as people, she said they were a little uncomfortable with the idea of a gay wedding. But the two did attend and during the reception, Simpson said her uncle "kept telling me, this is so right. I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you."

Simpson added: "He ended up having a massive stroke two days after. But the night of the wedding he said to my aunt 'You know, I've changed my mind.'"