As I’m sitting here, my two months of meditation and healthy eating behind me, I have a gin and tonic in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. It’s been a hard night for me. Tonight, it really sunk in how sick my father is.
In September he broke his neck and it has been downhill since then. He’s been in and out of the hospital, and for the last 8 weeks he’s been in and out of the ICU. He was initially admitted with double pneumonia, and today they told us he has MERSA and acute kidney failure. He’s lost 20 lbs (off his already thin frame), he’s anemic, he can’t walk or talk and he can barely move. They man I knew, the man I grew up with is no longer the same, and it’s unclear if he will ever be again.
The thought of this is dizzying, shocking really unimaginable. The worst part…for me anyway…is that he’s in Oklahoma and I’m in New York. I’m here in my comfortable house, while my mother, my brother, my sister-in-law, niece and nephews watch over my father. I want to be there, but it’s so hard with children, a house and a dying cat to take care of…
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Tonight, I’m ignoring my new healthy lifestyle. Tonight, I’m not concerned with good coping strategies or the scale. Tonight, I’m drinking gin and eating pizza…and that’s okay. Tomorrow, I will get back on track.
Taking a day off from your goals is fine. We all need to do it every once in a while. The good news is we can always continue again tomorrow. I’ve taken a few days off this week…in fact, my family came dangerously close to running out of clean underwear…thankfully the crisis was averted in time.
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For many, including me, there is comfort in our regular routine. I find a great deal of comfort in meditating, eating well, caring for my family and helping my clients. It makes the stresses of the day less intense.
This is especially true when in session with a client. Like most therapists, I have honed the ability to turn off my life and be completely in the room with the person sitting across from me. So though today, everything has gone out the window, I can get up tomorrow, go to work and be completely present.
