Family Forum: What Age Is Appropriate for Facebook

Family Forum is the new name of our previously named Moms Talk column. This is a new initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to local families.

Also, this new forum will allow you to reach out to your neighbors as well as we share comments and information with Sayville, Sachem, Bayport, Blue Point and Patchogue. We invite you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for families.

Each week in Family Forum, our council of experts take your questions, give advice and share solutions. If you are interested in joining our council, email Denise@pach.com.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Family Forum will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. Do you know of local moms raising their children in the Tiger Mother's way and is it the best way? Where can we get information on local flu shot clinics for children? How do we talk to our children about the Tucson shootings? How can we help our children's schools weather their budget cutbacks?

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today. Please tell us your opinion in the comments section below. 

Today’s question: What is the right age for someone to get a Facebook account? Do you “friend” your children?

Debbie Bacon: The Facebook frenzy has resided in most homes like a distant relative overstaying their welcome. And just like that aunt or cousin or uncle, I choose to keep Facebook at an arms length. Thanks to this social network, I now know when my 'friends' have their coffee, what flavor of coffee it is, and how they take it. My children are too young to engage in this epidemic right now (my oldest is 9), but I'm sure it won't be long before they ask to create an account, ultimately jeopardizing their reputations before they even have reputations. When they are old enough to buy and maintain their own computer, I guess they will be old enough to have a Facebook account. My theory, though, is that they'll want to be my 'friend' as much as wanting that distant relative to come for a visit. 

Donna Nolan: My daughter is 11 and has a Facebook account. I let her because it was a way for me to get to know her friends. The rule is I must know her password or else she loses her computer privilege. Through Facebook I have been able to see her friends personalities which has allowed the ability to give my daughter advice on how to deal with different people and/or problems. I have also deleted improper language from her page. She has not complained once. 

Theresa Oakes: My opinion is that kids should be at least 13 to get a Facebook page because there is a little more maturity there and understanding about privacy than younger kids. I know so many people who let their kids get an account at 10 (some younger) and I feel kids that age do not fully grasp the concept of sharing information on the internet and what is appropriate. 13 may still be on the young side when it comes to protecting them from online predators however I think you can explain these types of dangers to your kids when they are teenagers. With regards to friending your kids, I say when they are in their younger teen years you should definitely be their friend to monitor what they are using Facebook for and what they are discussing. As they get older maybe 16/17 you have to trust that you have built a strong enough line of communication with them and that you provide them with some level of privacy.