Tick Tock Goes the Biological Clock

Yet another 30-something birthday is on the horizon this week. I can only try to contain my enthusiasm.  

Most women understand that birthdays after your third decade often begin to symbolize not another year of wisdom and life experience, but one less year to debate whether it is the elusive “right time” to add to the human race.  

It reminds me of playing dodgeball in gym class. I was really good at being the last one standing because I dreaded getting pummeled with the ball — but I couldn’t throw for squat, so at some point I knew things weren’t going to end exactly as I had planned.  

It’s one of those womanly rites of passage that leaves you repeating the “days are long, years are short” mantra.

From personal experience, and without getting too personal about my experience (ha), there could be a “perfect storm” of circumstances that get in your way if and when you do decide to try for a child. Browse the message boards of mommy forums and you will quickly become familiar with a slew of acronyms like TTC (trying to conceive).  I’ve also had the pleasure of running through quite a few mom blogs dedicated to the topic, some which make me smile just reading the title, like “Womb for Improvement.”

The blogs aren’t the only humorous spin I’ve seen on the topic. Check out this gag gift: a biological clock that depicts the reproductive years after age 33 becoming blurry and running together.

Of course, having a child later in life is not impossible. It just isn’t always easy.

I was never all too focused on the passing years, especially since my mom was 40 when I was born (although I have been known to jokingly blame any bumps in the road on the fact that I was a “late-in-life baby”). A report from the Pew Research Center confirms that mothers today are more likely to be over the age of 35 than ever before.  

One thing that hasn’t changed, even since the 1970s, is the ideal number of children, according to survey respondents: two. That sounds about right. When my husband and I first got married, our ideal number of children went as high as four, then dwindled to three.  Lately we’ve been saying we would like one more, but are very thankful to have the one we’ve got. 

Entertainment news is encouraging, filled with stories of Hollywood celebrities who are having children well into their 40s, often with the help of medical intervention.  There’s John Travolta’s wife, who is in her late 40s and recently delivered her third child; Celine Dion, 42, had twins thanks to her sixth round of in vitro fertilization; and Nicole Kidman, who, at 43, has welcomed another child with the help of a surrogate.

Thankfully there is no shortage of helpful advice on the topic.  So if you're struggling with deciding whether to expand your family or need help coming to terms with closing the door on this chapter in your life, don't hesitate to check out some online resources such as this article.  And don't dismiss the valuable emotional support that other moms can provide.

If you are unsure about seeking medical assistance as you try for a child, keep this good news in mind. A recent study funded by the National Science Foundation found that the “biological clock ticks slower for female birds who choose good mates,” concluding that “healthier or more-experienced males may be better partners in parenting.” There you go ladies, turn the pressure to slow down your clock onto the men in your lives!

Still, I know this: I don't want to be mixing up my arthritis medication with my kids' chewable vitamins, so I'm sure at some point it will be refreshing to call it a day and wish "bon voyage" to the childbearing years.

And now I have to go because my son just watered the houseplant with milk again — that ship may be sailing sooner than I think!