On Yorktown: We're History!

I'm often asked if I know anything about the history of Yorktown.

I say yes, and then pause. I use to launch into a lecture that began with The Ice Age and hours later had only advanced to the invention of tools. But the people who asked were soon screaming and hurling themselves into oncoming traffic . So, now, I keep it short. The following is how, historically speaking, our town came to be.

The earliest known inhabitants of of Yorktown were Native American tribes such as the Mohegan, the Osceola and the Amawalk. Eventually, English settlers bought the land from them in a fair deal. The settlers got 5,000 acres of prime Yorktown real estate. The Indians got the right to three future casinos and first crack at the best Kenny Rogers tickets.

King William eventually bought the Royal Manor and established it for the Van Corlandt family. In this deal The Native Americans got the the fine sum of 3,000 pieces of wampum and a Van Corlandt to be named later.

As you might know, The Croton Rover, which runs through the southern part of town, was dammed in the 1800s, in order to provide clean water for our residents. Unfortunately, this structure also broke in 1842. Which caused most of these same residents to yell "Dam!" But in that alarming way that Ice Cube says it in "Friday."

During the American Revolution, Yorktown was of great strategical importance. Also, traitorous Major Andre, ate his last breakfast in our town before being captured as a spy and hung. Why was anyone surprised? Especially, when Andre use to refer to coming-and-going on Pines Bridge as doing a "double-cross"?

Also, ordering eggs Benedict Arnold that morning didn't help his case.

The township was officially incorporated, at a ceremony, in 1788, partly as a way of commemorating the decisive Battle of Yorktown in 1781. Partly because they had leftover boxes of scones and kippers they'd taken off the enemy. And they had to do something with this stuff: it was getting pretty ripe!

They had originally tried to have this ceremony when the war was still going on. But The English scared everyone off by stating that they'd provide, as entertainment, several groups from The British Invasion. All the Yorktown citizens heard this and ran off screaming. And, of course, missed performances by The Kinks and Gerry and The Pacemakers.

Amazingly enough, during the Bicentennial, both of these groups played; but only with a few of the original members.

Moving into the 19th Century, did you know that Yorktown once had five stations along the New York and Putnam Railroad? They were abolished in the middle of the 20th Century. Right after the trains that had left 50 years earlier, finally arrived.

All too soon came more wars. First, the  Civil War, where you either had to fight, send a substitute or  have a note from your doctor. Then, two World Wars. Finally, of course, the most frightening conflict of all: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. This is the one that nearly tore Yorktown apart. Say what you will, after the bloodshed involved here? If we can survive this, we can survive anything.

Unless, there's another "Twilight"sequel. Then, we'll just have to wait and see.