Adult Children of Alcoholics Can Heal

Adult Children of Addicts/Alcoholics Can Heal

Adults who grew up in a household where one or both parents exhibited the symptoms of addiction or misuse of alcohol or drugs may sometimes find themselves struggling with relationships in their personal lives or at work.  Many ACOAs (adult children of alcoholics or addicts) want to believe that they’ve somehow escaped the clutches of the illness once they emerge into adulthood and are able to create their own families of friends and partners.  Yet they may at times find that what drew them into inappropriate roles while children may trap them once again through unhealthy interactions in the adult world. 

High Achievers

Sometimes they are high achievers (“co-dependents”) and may become overly responsible in many areas of functioning and operate like magnets attracting people who need help, support, or rescuing often to the point where their own needs remain unfulfilled.

Loving someone with an addiction can translate to living through chaotic and unpredictable scenarios that lend themselves to increased stress and anxiety. The need to control is strong in the human spirit and yet the codependent person soon learns that all they can manage are their own actions and reactions as attempts to control a loved one’s alcohol or drug use prove unsuccessful. 

Relationship Struggles

As current relationships evolve they may reenact childhood feelings of fear, shame, hurt, blame, and anger.  ACOAs may experience a loss of trust in relationships in general as they become hyper-vigilant always scanning the environment for sign of distress. The radar instinct is strong and challenging to tone down. 

Hope

Yet with counseling and participation at self help meetings, such as Al Anon, people can find methods to set appropriate boundaries and mange expectations in relation to others but more importantly they can begin on a path to figure out how to be successful at self-care, a trait often neglected while they over extended themselves trying to take care of others.  By learning to use the tools of recovery hope can be restored and a sense of calm and positive expectation can flourish and grow.

Deb Owens is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Advanced Alcohol & Drug Counselor. She helps individuals and couples in Chestnut Hill, PA near Lafayette Hill and Spring House, near Fort Washington, PA. Deb specializes in anxiety, relationships, and those effected by their own or a love one's alcohol or drug use.

215-802-6521

http://www.debowens.com