I know it feels to many of you, that marriage equality is being shoved in your face at every turn. The so-called "gay agenda" as some people like to call it. I get it. I really do. There are a myriad of hot button issues including the "NRA agenda" which, while I have an opinion about it, I also harbour some complacency as well. Whatever is ultimately decided on this issue will only affect me in a rather abstract way. I grew up with a hunting father, but I don't personally own a weapon. But marriage equality is my business. And not just about Scott and me. It is also about this family. Henry's family. And so that means I need to take up arms and do battle. You see, as a gay man in a 15 year committed relationship/family which also includes Henry, our adopted young son, my views, like many politicians, has over time been "evolving". Up until recently I would have been happy with simple social/civil equality. I just wanted the same rights given to my long-term relationship as anyone elses. We work, pay taxes, own a home, volunteer at school, even belong to an Episcopal church. But the more I've had to live with this inequality, the more I want what Justice Ginsburg eluded to so eloquently. I don't want or deserve to be served "skim milk" I don't even think I want whole milk. I want and deserve heavy whipping cream. Last week during Henry's school break we spent three days in Washington DC. Besides the typical museum and site tours, we spent some time in front of the Supreme Court while the Justices were listening to arguments about DOMA and Prop 8. It was an amazing experience and something we felt was important for Henry to be a part of. He was going to bear witness to something that would go down in the history books. While most of the demonstrators were pro-marriage equality, there were many others there opposing it as well. And most of those people were doing so in the name of religion. People who are concerned about churches having to compromise their beliefs do not need to worry. We are not going to darken the doors of any house of worship where we are not fully embraced and loved. And I know, just like whatever is decided about gun control, that me marrying my partner is not going to affect anyone's traditional marriage in any way, shape or form. Just as I know, those who marry who are outside the church, who marry for immigration reasons and marry for the sake of children have no effect on any one else's marriage. What lawmakers decide about gun regulation matters to me, but it is not my battle at the moment. It will affect those individuals who love and own guns. Years ago my Lutheran minister father conducted a commitment ceremony for Scott and me before a host of friends and family. And while it was beautiful and special, we still had to spend thousands in attorney fees to protect our union in the event of death or illness. We get no tax or social security benefits and whoever survives the other, will be forced to pay a death tax. These are just a couple examples of the nearly 1100 benefits we miss out on. We deserve the real deal. We deserve ice cream.
