Staggering Pirates Unveil New Alternate Uniforms

PITTSBURGH, PA — In a marketing ploy that might temporarily distract from the fact that they are awful, the Pirates on Thursday unveiled their new City Connect uniforms. They essentially are a throwback to the team's uniforms in 1979, when they won their last World Series.

The Pirates' new uniforms will be worn for the first time on Tuesday when the Bucs host the San Diego Padres at PNC Park. They will wear their City Connect uniforms for every remaining Friday home game, excluding Roberto Clemente Day on Sept. 15.

City Connect is a collaboration between Major League Baseball and Nike to create alternate uniforms that are meant to pay homage to each team's home city.

“We believe this uniform collaboration with Nike represents what being from Pittsburgh is all about,” team president Travis Williams said in a statement.

“From a distance, a Pittsburgher is strong, sturdy, quiet, friendly and never showy or overstated. However, get to know someone from the city and you learn that there’s more to them than meets the eye. But you would never guess until you get close to them.”

The Pirates have not won a division title since 1992 and have a nine-game losing streak going into Thursday's game against the Miami Marlins. In a video narrated by Pittsburgh native and rap superstar Wiz Khalifa, the team unveiled the new uniforms in a collage that referenced long-dead Pirates greats who played when the Bucs were, you know, good.