Heyl: Superiority To Seattle Could Help Pittsburgh Land Amazon

Pittsburgh is ready for prime time. Amazon Prime time. So let’s hope CEO Jeff Bezos comes to town while scouting locations for a gargantuan second headquarters for his gargantuan e-commerce company.

He undoubtedly would be impressed by what he sees.

Amazon announced Thursday that it wanted to build a new headquarters in some fortunate city that meets its stringent requirements and offers it loads of financial incentives. Amazon plans to invest $5 billion in the campus and hire as many as 50,000 workers to fill it.

Amazon’s current headquarters is in Seattle, so Bezos probably would be comfortable in Pittsburgh. The two cities have more in common than lousy weather. Seattle is the corporate home of Starbucks, Nordstrom and Costco; Pittsburgh has approximately 50 Starbucks locations, a Ross Park Mall Nordstrom and a Waterfront Cosco currently offering a terrific deal on 148-roll bundles of toilet paper.

But let’s not kid ourselves. Bargain prices on toilet tissue alone won’t be enough to lure Amazon. Bezos need to learn that although Pittsburgh is like Seattle in many aspect, the Steel City is superior to the Emerald City in many regards. He needs to learn that Pittsburgh tops Seattle when it comes to:

Music
Although musical artifacts Ray Charles, Kenny G and Heart got their start there, Seattle is known primarily for having spawned a bunch of grunge groups with dead lead singers (Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden).
The Pittsburgh area has produced contemporary stars in many diverse musical styles: pop (Christina Aguilera), rap (Wiz Khalifa) industrial (Nine Inch Nail’s Trent Reznor), hair metal (Poison’s Bret Michaels) and polka (Grkmania’s Joe Grkman, whom many consider to be the Eddie Van Halen of the accordion).

Pizza
Pittsburgh is the nation’s fifth-best city for pizza lovers, according to a recent study. Seattle ranked a lowly 12th, perhaps because they probably put wild Pacific salmon on their pies. Give Bezos a taste of Mineo’s, Aiello’s or Vinnie’s and he’ll quickly realize that employees at Amazon’s second headquarters here can enjoy clogging their arteries much more than the folks working at the first.

Tourist attractions
Seattle has the Space Needle, which rises 605 feet and offers breathtaking views of the city at a cost of $22 a ticket. Pittsburgh has the mile-long Mt. Washington, which only rises about 400 feet but still offers breathtaking views of the city at a cost of, uh, nothing.

Sports
Pittsburgh teams have won six Super Bowls, five Stanley Cups and five World Series, although the Pirates haven’t done won a world championship since the Paleozoic Era.
Seattle has won one Super Bowl, but lost two others. The Mariners are one of just two Major League Baseball teams never to have played in the World Series. Few Seattle residents go to see the NBA’s Supersonics anymore because the team relocated to Oklahoma City in 2008 and the arena there is an inconvenient commute from the Pacific Northwest.

Pittsburgh beckons, Mr. Bezos. Your second headquarters can be better than your first. Give it a chance.

You’ll find it more than ready for Amazon Prime time.

Eric Heyl is Patch’s Pittsburgh field editor. Reach him at 412-334-4033 or Eric.Heyl@Patch.com.

Amazon icon: Jurgen Appelo via Creative Commons.