Sinner's Lent Day 1: Not Cursing is Hard

I really find cursing unattractive. I curse constantly. I find it unattractive in myself.

I'm a well-educated woman who has a good job and a nice family. It is really impossible for me to describe my feelings, or a situation, without vulgarity?

Sometimes, I think yes....especially now that I've given up cursing for Lent.

I spent all day being really good. I didn't utter a single bad word.

Then, when I got home and was doing work with my boyfriend sitting next to me, things started slipping.

But the words would be pop out for no apparent reason.  I would try to save something on my computer and it would act funky so my response would "piece of SHHH(ugar)" and whatnot. (Cue look of contempt from boyfriend, who is also giving up cursing).

Three things registered after this episode:

1.It had to be subconscious. After all, I dropped spaghetti sauce on my carpet earlier in the day and managed to just get out "SHHHHHHHHHH............." ... so it's not as though I've disregarded my Lenten promise on day two.

2. Maybe I was dropping f-bombs all day, I just didn't realize it (I really don't think so...but I'm putting it out there)

3. If No. 2 isn't true, why did I wait until someone was around to start cursing? That is just strange.  If a tree falls in the forrest ...

So I guess my question becomes - If, in addition to not cursing, my goal is to stop and think before I say/do things .... what if I say/do them before I get a chance to stop?  Way to kill two Lenten promises at once.

I have no answers.  Just questions. And, apparently, the mouth of a drunken sailor.

I guess I have to put this cursing thing closer to the forefront of my mind, because it is CLEARLY not as easy as I thought it would be when I decided to give it up.

The good news? Nothing bad has slipped out of my mouth today (she says at 8:54 a.m.).