Stink Bugs—Ugh!

Much to my dismay, my homemade stink bug trap is not working. I learned how to make it from an online tutorial, out of a two-liter soda bottle, some tape and a battery powered button light. It seemed ingenious in its simplicity.

The tutorial was generously provided by the man who invented the trap even though he hopes to produce them for sale to the public. He obviously isn’t worried that the free instructions will impact his bottom line. When family and friends hear about how ineffective my trap has been, they have suggested that the man may have left out one important ingredient so that I would eventually have to buy one from him, but I have more faith in humanity than that.

The theory is that when the bugs are attracted to the light in the bottom of the bottle, they unwittingly crawl up the side, fall in and can’t climb out again. Well, the only way my stink bugs get into the bottle is if I literally scoop them up with it.

I just don’t understand the proliferation of these little armadillos of the insect world. Where have they been hiding all these years? Don’t they have any natural predators?

Although my problem may not qualify as an infestation yet, our family has had more than our fair share of distressing encounters with these invaders.

The worst incident so far happened when my boys were home for Thanksgiving. I gave my son a hug goodnight and felt a weird growth on his upper back, UNDER his shirt! When I asked what it was, we both slowly came to the same realization. He pulled off the shirt as fast as he could and turned it inside out, but the devil bug had already escaped to the floor. I was appropriately horrified, as was my son, but we fought our natural inclination to dispose of the creature with a swift stomp. Stomping produces the unpleasant odor they emit which, according to urban legend, attracts even more of them.

I ran for the trap.

There have been other less dramatic incidents, but almost as disconcerting. When I looked in the mirror the other day as I was brushing my teeth, I was startled to see a stink bug on my shoulder. Yet another time, I found one on my head. They employ the perfect combination of camouflage and stealth. They just APPEAR where they don’t belong.

All I can do is hope that the current stink bug population will die out this winter. Until that happens, I will be sure to shake my clothes vigorously before I get dressed and never let my guard down.