With all the talk over a North Dakota mother's controversial blog post on bullying, I have to say, that no child deserves to be bullied, verbally or physically. No matter where your opinion lies with this post, the sad truth is, there are bullies at nearly every school.
Bullying hurts. One particular type of bullying that REALLY gets me? Mean girls. They are often the toughest because their style of bullying hurts even without words.
The worst is when one mean girl excludes another and convinces her friends to do it too. “Exclusion” bullying is commonly used by girls. It’s more subtle and not as easy for an authority figure to detect. There are no scrapes or bruises to show proof of their hurtful behavior, so the bully thinks she can get away with it.
What I struggle with as a parent? Where to draw the line between letting a child work things out independently or stepping in and taking care of the problem for them. You don’t want to be an overbearing "helicopter" parent, nor do you want to let a child get hurt over and over again.
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Following are some tips to help kids deal with bullies:
- It’s OK to tell. Tell your mom or dad about the bullying behavior. You will not be a “tattle” if you tell an adult about the situation. It can become very dangerous if the bullying continues and deserves to be brought to the attention of adult authority figures.
- Silent treatment. Give a bully the silent treatment. By ignoring a bully, you don’t feed into their destructive behavior.
- Call upon friends. Surround yourself with friends and occupy your time playing with them. After a while, a bully may lose interest because he/she can’t approach you alone.
- Kill them with kindness. Don’t be rude or uncivil to the person bullying you. This can only aggravate the situation even more and invite a physical conflict.
- Read. Read books and articles about bullying. Stay informed. Stay educated. Stay strong.
- Be yourself. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about yourself. Surround yourself with people who pull you up and make you feel good about yourself rather than bullies who put you down.
Jackie is a Barrington mom, writer and pr professional who blogs about her take on motherhood at www.ventingsessions.com and writes about it in her book, How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker. Catch her at the first annual RI Authors Expo in Kingston this Saturday, Nov. 16 at the Courthouse Center for the Arts, 3481 Kingstown Road. http://www.riauthors.org