Can We Have A Little Civility?

Pastor Martin Niemöller is credited with the famous statement, “First they came…”  You may have heard of it:

* “First they came for the communists, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.  Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.  Then they came for the Jews and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.  Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.”

For the past week or so, I have been feeling guilty because I did not speak out when certain comments were written here on the Patch.  It started when a young woman wrote about her efforts to find a job.  I can attest that there is a tremendous feeling of vulnerability that goes into submitting a story for a popular on-line medium.  You never know how your writing is going to be received.  You take a chance in giving your readers a look at who you are, your beliefs, the challenges you face.  You hope that you don’t offend anyone.  You hope that you don’t come across as too self-serving.  And most of all, you hope that nobody is going to take advantage of your vulnerability by insulting you or by calling you out in some hurtful way.  The young lady who wrote about her job search was trying to be entertaining, while sharing a bit of herself and her relationship with her mother.  It was a cute story.  I could relate.  At one point in my life, I had a mother who was ushering me out the door toward independence.  I wasn’t interested in going quietly, as I recall, either.  The story amused me.  And yet, when the only comment on the blog was one that scoffed at her situation, generalized about her and her generation as lazy and entitled, I did not come to the young lady’s rescue.  I feel guilty about that – I should have written something.  I should have said that I disagreed with the commenter, that I liked the story, and that I hoped that the young lady didn’t let the commenter discourage her from writing again.  But I didn’t do that.  I have no good excuse for my behavior, except that I hoped that by ignoring the commenter, he would go away.  I was also afraid that he would turn his vitriol toward me.

And yet the insulting, bigoted, ignorant and hurtful commentary continues in the form of responses to writers who are trying to make a difference, who are sharing a perspective, and who are providing useful information.  I believe in public discourse.  I believe in democracy – I embrace open debate and the sharing of new ideas.  But I see no place in either public discourse or democracy for inflammatory statements like, “You know all the exits that lead to all the other towns!!!”  or “…none of these people should be allowed to come here…”.   I think we are better than that kind of off-the-cuff rhetoric.  I think that the opportunity that The Patch has given us to have open dialog can help us each to learn more about our neighbors so that we can grow stronger as a community. 

Back in the 50s, when the concept of “the mall” became the new thing, the planners thought it would be a great idea to put several stores into one place. They thought that the idea would bring people together.  Unfortunately, the concept didn’t work as planned.  People went to the mall, shopped, and left.  They didn’t stay to browse, to socialize, to spend money.  And then one brilliant planner invented the “food court”.  Suddenly, the mall became a much livelier place to be.  People made a trip to the mall into a day trip.  They could sit down over lunch, share their purchases with friends, or catch up with a neighbor they hadn’t seen for a while.  The food court made the mall concept a success in the eyes of retailers everywhere. 

I see the Patch as our information mall with a food court.  It is a place for us to go for information about what is going on in our towns, about important events, and while we’re here we can sit down for a chat.  We can share our ideas, debate important issues, and learn from each other.  For this reason, I implore my fellow commentators to please keep the discourse civil, think before you type, get your facts straight, and most of all, remember that we’re all human and deserve to be treated as such. It apparently does no good to ignore you.  You seem to get louder in your effort to attract attention to yourself.  So, I’m just going to ask you straight out -- please be civil.

P.S.  WarrenKnight18, I just saw your apology and I do hope that you reconsider your decision to stop participating in The Patch.  We all put our foot in our mouths at one time or another. 

*from Wikipedia