The Inner Peace of Conflict: Does it Exist?

This blog is in response to fellow Bristol-Warren Patch Blogger Diana Campbell, who wrote a riveting truth on her struggle to maintain positive community outcomes even if it means holding her tongue.

If you haven't, read first.

Public drubbings as a retaliatory tool are looked poorly upon by viewers or listeners. In most cases, eyes glaze over and yawns ensue at those types of attacks, because they are designed to pierce the heart and bleed out the most noble of endeavors based on special interest and lack of diversity. More importantly, it's a dishonorable discordant approach.  

But ... what would be the worst thing if you told people how you *really feel with things that bother you? 

"Hey, that public drag really brought us down. Is there something you can't say to my face? Let's hear it NOW."  Or,  "I value what you do, but we may have trust issues we need to discuss – this knife in my back is killing me!" 

I've used those same phrases over the years and slept like a baby because I refuse to believe the repercussion of truth or rebuttal can hang over my head like a two-ton wrecking ball.  

But alas, I am not an elected official bearing the weight of measurable community outcomes.  

As for your sacrificial dream conversations not being worth the potential impact on things of great importance that fall within your purview ... here's my take:

Diversity of expressing ideals, beliefs and opinion are all part and parcel with political nomenclature. Generally speaking, we sacrifice nothing except inner peace (and a good night's sleep) when we are denied the opportunity to exercise those rights in the court of public opinion.   

But I understand the centuries-old adage: Choose your battles wisely 

Yes I agree, it is difficult to clash in any small town without some type of fallout. 

Storytime: One year, a clash took place with a disgruntled party that included some public comments, directed at others, about me. While passive aggressive behavior can be comedic, it has a short shelf life in the arena of conflict. (No need trying to guess the who, where and when on this, it can be one of many character-building opportunities conflict has afforded me.)

While this featherweight campaign held no water and angered some, I still publicly signed my name to other related opinions and advised my attorney to draw up a Cease and Desist Letter for Slander if it continued. It didn't, but he was ready and excited at this prospect. And I went to bed, sleep uninterrupted.   

A scuffle here and there can be capacity builders in anyone's Conflict Management Toolkit, if done right. I've learned to never let a good conflict go to waste, but my stakes are quite different.

Not every decision made will be embraced by others, but do envelope your detractors, call them on their spit, and deny them the opportunity to steal away your shut eye.