Famed 'El Arroyo' Austin Restaurant Signs Collected In Book Form

AUSTIN, TEXAS — If one were to look for the moral conscience of Austin — a font of constantly flowing wisdom, sage advice, candid assessments, insights into the human condition and social commentary of current events distilled to their bottom-line essence — one must journey to Central Austin.

For it is there, grasshopper, where all the answers dwell. And now, those answers to life's most perplexing questions have been collected in book form, perfect for the holiday season (but more on that later).

For many years now, diners, passing motorists and pedestrians have been delighted and enlightened by the El Arroyo restaurant sign at 1624 W. 5th St. Rather than posting the daily specials (a redundant reminder as die-hard fans of the eatery are well familiar with the tasty tacos and magnanimous margaritas contained within the culinary Tex-Mex temple), the placard offers something more akin to nourishment for the soul.

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Instead of broadcasting meal deals, the El Arroyo sign offers pithy life observations on a rotating basis throughout the year. To wit:

• Ahead of Valentine's Day this year, the pontificating placard offered: "Roses are red, violets are blue. If he's busy on V day, the side chick is you." On his best day, advice guru/game show host/entrepreneur Steve Harvey could never achieve such word economy.
• The month before: "Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose." Ah, yes. A scientific lesson into the bovine anatomy with intertwined wordplay. Brilliant.
• Early last year came another pair of accessible science lessons: "Never trust an atom. They make up everything," one read. "The rotation of the Earth really makes my day," observed another.
• Sometimes, self-deprecating honesty is employed to yield life lessons for others: "Don't worry, password. I'm insecure too."

In keeping with Austin's self-proclaimed weirdness, it is this inanimate, stationary object — not a flawed human vessel — that is the go-to for wisdom offering an oasis of sanity or figurative salve to relieve the open wound of collective angst.

Which is not to say that the El Arroyo sign can't be snarky. This sign of the times can be brutally honest at times, not unlike a staff-wielding guru executing well-placed linguistic lashes of tough love to knock sense into its disciples.

Politicians are often knocked down a few pegs on the humility scale with stealthy sass, and sometimes others too. Take this tethered tonic aimed at Austin's young demographic, for instance:

Ouch. Don't worry, young people, you'll be homeowners one day. Just stay out of trouble and/or keep your nose in those books.

For the Spanish-challenged, arroyo is the Spanish word for a dry creek, stream bed or gulch that fills on a temporary or seasonal basis in making it flow after sufficient rain. That is what the sign is like, but hardly on an intermittent seasonal basis and never dry. Instead, the sign yields a constantly flowing stream of consciousness that fills the parched collective soul of a city.

Or, it's just funny. Whatever you like.

For the second year, restaurant officials have collected their best pearls of wisdom in book form — actually a "big book" and a mini one — yielding a quintessentially Austin holiday gift in the process. Last year, the big book of wisdom sold for $24.99, delivering orders placed by Dec. 3. To purchase this year's version, visit: www.elarroyo.com/store.

Hey, El Arroyo sign, we have an idea for a wisdom-filled message too: "To stay informed and up to scratch, always read the Austin Patch." Please, benevolent banner, forgive our insolence. We go now to be alone with our shame.

Its status as community landmark secure, the location of the El Arroyo sign warrants its own, separate entry on Google maps.

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>>> Photos provided by El Arroyo