What it Means to Cherish

To cherish means to treasure in the heart. And we all need someone to cherish us. To have no one to hold us in their heart is to truly be alone. We dwell not only in the world, but also in the hearts of others. So that when we die, whether we cease to exist or continue somewhere else, we will nevertheless continue to exist in the hearts of those who cherish us. As long as they live, so do we. Something of our presence abides in their hearts, in their hidden hearth of hallowing.

Perhaps we should gauge our success or failure in life by whether and to what extent we are cherished in the hearts of others. What does it truly matter if we should gain a host of material possessions, while at the same time we have no one to care for and treasure us? Others will eventually take our material possessions to enhance theirs; yet none will have taken something of our spirit to enrich their own. True treasure is of the heart—and in the heart.

Just as we need to be cherished, so also do we need to cherish. Our hearts become crusty, empty shells without the living imprint of precious others. Those who do not reach out to embrace others, who have no living network of friends and family, will never know what their hearts could have grown into through the cherishing of loved ones. It takes cherishing to keep the heart vital and vibrant. Our capacity to treasure others is one with our capacity to savor life itself.

How we are able to take others into our hearts and cherish them is as great a mystery as how we are able to love. Cherishing is ever a private matter, which cannot be observed by another. And it is an essentially free act. No one can coerce us to cherish them, nor can we force another to cherish us. It is something that happens in the sanctity of our inmost being, when we open our heart to receive another. In so doing, a new section is created in our heart, a special place for only this person, where the other’s image will dwell, where we may adore, bless and pray for their well-being. To cherish is to hold and uphold another in spirit, come what may.

There is great risk in cherishing. To let another into your heart renders you vulnerable to suffering. You could be betrayed, abandoned, or rejected; the other may not meet your expectations and desires. And how difficult to remove a loved one from your heart! To divorce another means as well to dismantle, if not divorce, a part of your own heart. It’s easier to withstand the death of a loved one; then you can at least continue to reverence the other in that section of your heart which will become a kind of altar to their memory.

There is reward beyond measure in cherishing. It can bring you joy sufficient to justify the suffering you may have to endure. Cherishing makes life more bearable and meaningful. I have told elderly persons who were questioning whether their life continued to have purpose, that an important reason for staying alive was to cherish and pray for loved ones. To hold others in your heart is reason enough to live. And to realize that others are cherishing you in their hearts, can grant your life ample meaning all the way to your final, releasing breath.