Oscar Martinez, Neighbor

Hi, my name is...well, I'll tell you later...and I’m a recovering Democrat. I’ve been sober from Democratic campaign promises for at least six months.

My psychiatrist in the San Francisco Financial District says I’m allowed to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, Queer Eye, Heartstopper, and even The Ellen DeGeneres Show again, but only with supervision.

The only news I’m allowed to read is the Washington Blade. I’m also permitted to open 107 Days, but only the first chapter, just to monitor my emotional stability. And I’m free to talk to Democratic guys again—but only if they meet the strict requirement of being politically cute.