Why Don’t People Go To Church?

Okay – I’m a church planter (that means I am starting a brand new church from scratch).  So I think a LOT about why people don’t go to church.  And in our area, there are many who fit that description – in fact, it’s the overwhelming majority.    

Many people just don’t even think about attending church.  Others feel they’d rather take a CPA exam than darken the doors of a building with a “steeple” (literal or figurative).  But, when I think about people who don’t attend church regularly (or even seriously check into it), I just feel sad.  My sincere belief is that God has created the church to be a vital place where people learn to love Him and one another.  I know the church is imperfect – sometimes even sick.  But speaking for the church I have the privilege to pastor, we’re just a bunch of imperfect people doing our best to imperfectly encourage each other to imperfectly grow closer to God every day.

The imperfections of the church (or reasons to attend) are not the main thrust of this post, however.  Rather, it’s just a simple reflection of a pastor (feeling a little sad about all the people passing by our doors on Sunday) whose sincere desire is to see the people in our area blessed by a rich relationship with their Creator. 

So, here are some reasons I came up with about why people might not go to church.  I’m sure it’s not an exhaustive list.  But do you see yourself in any of them?

·         “I’m okay” – Maybe this is one of the most common reasons.   It’s the person who simply thinks they have it together on their own, so they have no need of a relationship with God – at least not with any real specific God.  Or, perhaps these sincere people don’t have any sense that there might be a problem between them and God that needs fixing.  In response this type of thinking, Jesus said that “only the sick need a doctor.”  He wasn’t saying that there are some people who need God and some who don’t.  Rather, He was drawing a distinction between those who are aware of their need for God and those who are not. 

·         “I’ll have to give something up” – This is the fear that if I go to church, something in my life will have to change.  It may be something I don’t want to give up – like a political view, a habit, a lifestyle, and so on.  Of course, none of us like to give up things.  But in my experience (talking with lots of people), I find that almost always people have skewed ideas about what they’ll lose and what they’ll gain.  So, maybe more investigation is required.

·         “I have a real hostility toward church” – Maybe you’ve had a bad experience in another church.  Maybe you have some pretty negative ideas about why church will make you miserable.  Do you know where your hostility comes from?  And is that hostility applicable to every church?  Maybe it actually points to an issue that the right kind of church could actually help with.   I’ve seen this frequently.

·         “I’m miserable and I know it – But I’m not looking under that rock” – Henry David Thoreau said, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  Many people in our area are struggling with significance, depression, discontent, sickness, broken relationships, and on and on.  They seek answers diligently (trying one hopeful solution after another), but for whatever reason refuse to try church.  But consider this – if you’re going to turn over all stones, you really need to turn over that one too.

·         “Something bad will happen to me” – Sometimes people in this category actually think of themselves as very religious.  But what they really are is superstitious.  Perhaps they have been told by someone that going to a certain type of Christian church will anger God in some way. 

·         “I worship God on my own in my own way” – These are people who are “spiritual” or sometimes those who even consider themselves to be Christian.  They just don’t feel they need to be part of a church – maybe they’d say, “church just doesn’t do anything for me.” 

·         “I’m afraid of what others will think of me” – Peer pressure comes in a variety of forms and certainly does affect adults (as much as we’d like to think it doesn’t).  And there are plenty of people who would think less of us in some way if we were we to start seriously attending church.

·         “I wish I could believe” – Some people are genuinely attracted to Jesus, but struggle with believing that He is really God who did all the things the Bible claims.  They wish they could believe, but for some reason they just feel very far from God.

·         “I simply believe a different truth claim” – These are people who have given substantive thought to their belief systems and sincerely believe that they know the truth – and they believe that it is something other than what the Bible says is true. 

In some ways, these last two types are the most “legitimate”  reasons not to attend church in my view – and most people believe they fall into one of them (especially the last one).  But in my experience, most people don’t really; rather, they would belong to one of the other categories (or, maybe one I haven’t thought of). 

I think a key way to tell whether you truly fall into one of the last two categories is to honestly consider whether none of the others apply to you.  Also, consider that those people who truly belong to these last two categories don't tend to be threatened or offended by Christian proselytizing, and (in the case of the last category anyway) they can articulate why they believe what they believe.  If you feel a deep hostility toward Christianity (or toward anyone sharing their convictions about its truth), I would like to suggest that you likely fall into another category.

I’ll try to address some of these aversions to church in future posts, but let me just say this for now…

For those who are struggling to believe, being around others who do can be helpful.   Don’t give up.  Ask God to lead you to a place where you can find Him again (even though you’re not sure if He really hears you or is really there).

For those who are convinced of a different truth claim, keep an open dialogue with those in the church (maybe even consider attending a group intended for non-Christians exploring Christianity).  If nothing else, it will keep you sharp and civil, and it will show others how people can have divergent opinions without being nasty to one another.

And if you belong to one of the other categories, consider being honest about your real objections and make an effort to find a church that will patiently consider them with you.      

Yes – I’m a church planter, so I want to see people deeply involved with a healthy church.  But church is not a building, it’s a group of people that God has called out to love Him, love each other, and do their best to tell other people about how they too can have a deep relationship with God.  That’s why it makes me sad to think of so many people for whom church is just not part of life.  My sincere hope for you is that you’ll consider the reason you don’t attend church, and that perhaps that reflection will draw you to a solid church – just to try.

(We’d love to embrace you at West City Fellowship, but there are many other fine churches in our area that I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend.)

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