Once upon a time, I was a stay at home mom. My job very much fulfilled the traditional stereotype, though I wasn’t very good at keeping the kitchen clean. Three years later, I’m not sure that I fit that category anymore. Like before, I take care of my son, do the household chores, and run the finances. But I also work part-time. Twice a week, I write a column for Dale City Patch, and once a week, I teach a class of third-graders. My only office is my home, where I work from my lime-green desk and occasionally, my bed. So what am I now?
There are lots of categories to choose from: the traditional housewife, the more palatable homemaker, a WAHM (work at home mom), a working mom, or even a SAHM (stay at home mom) with a different twist. But that’s the things about stereotypes. Who can say that a SAHM doesn’t work just because she doesn’t receive a paycheck? Who can say that a working mom or a WAHM doesn’t take as much care of her children as her at-home counterpart? There are days my husbands works at home too, but nobody calls him a WAHD.
I don’t really care what I am. I like life this way. Because I have external deadlines, my days and weeks are more structured. I have less time to squander. My off times are more free, and Nate is still the priority that he was. This works for us.
The work force is changing. I have the opportunity to teach, write, and work at home not because I’m a mom, but because employers offer more flexibility to keep costs and overhead down. The cultural categories that we’re familiar with aren’t going to work for much longer. As the economy and our technology shifts, more options are available to people who before, considered themselves in one of the familiar categories.
Like me.
And honestly? I’m happier. I take great pride in seeing my name published, on seeing a child understand a bit of history better. I tried doing all of this on my own, but I was lazy. With outside structure and expectations, I do much better. Now, I have a list of published articles that didn’t exist a year ago that I can share with Nate one day. That is beautiful to me.
So no, I don’t think I fit the categories very well. And I’m ok with that. This works. That’s the point of all this: do what works. What is truly best for your family. Ask yourself, ask your spouse, ask your children. Be honest and address everyone’s needs. Talk to those from all categories. What works? What doesn’t? What falls through the cracks? Keep these truths in mind: work is wise, reward encouraging, and giving of yourself a great good.
And those are better categories than any stereotypes.