I’ve been following the Occupy Wall Street protests this week and find the whole thing fascinating, particularly the protesters' signs. Rough and made of cardboard or artistic and published on Tumblr, the signs offer a detailed look at the creator’s complaints. Most of them feature debt, joblessness, medical needs, and lack of social standing. Counter-protesting signs have appeared on Facebook, with a message of hard work and a careful savings.
I began to wonder, what would my sign look like? So I began to write:
“I have never been rich. My husband was unemployed twice since we were married, thanks to the economy. My son was born with a birth defect and we had to pay COBRA and tuition debt even during those tight months. My husband is now employed, but we moved twice for him to find the job. We have debt and I worry about money constantly. I have had cancer for nearly two years. Gas and food are more expensive than ever and we are often over budget. The American Dream isn’t working for us and I will tell my son to think about the world differently. It’s his best chance. We are the 99 percent.”
But then I realized there was more to our story:
“My husband makes good money and I’m a stay at home mom, with a part-time job doing what I love. My son and I have medical problems, but we can afford treatment for both, thanks to great health insurance and excellent medical care. My husband and I graduated from a private college and quickly paid off what little loans we had. We pay all of our bills and we have everything we need and most of what we want. We have a mortgage and some debt, but we are making progress in paying them. I buy organic food, our clothing is mostly new, and we travel a couple of times a year. We work hard and enjoy our life, even though it is a simple one. We are blessed and thankful. We are not the 99 percent.”
Both sides are completely true. We are in debt. We are saving. We are lucky. We are discouraged. It’s not one or the other. The two posters certainly don’t tell a simple morality tale of “Work hard, be positive, and life will be peachy.”
Life doesn’t work that way. That’s the point. Life doesn’t work any one way.
This isn’t a political statement. I’m not informed enough to make a decent one anyway. It’s just something that’s true of many people right now: life is often a struggle.
Two years ago, I wrote a column about our experience with unemployment. It was 2009 and the economy stank. We were eventually unable to pay our bills and had to move in with Daniel’s parents for several months. When I wrote that column two years ago, I said that I often judged people who complained about bad health care coverage. How hard could it be to find a decent job? But when Daniel was unemployed and Nate facing necessary surgery, I was very grateful for new legislation that gave us the needed coverage. I didn’t care who wrote that bill or that I didn’t vote for him—I was just thrilled it existed. I was an idiot for my hasty judgements.
The American dream has crashed around us. The promise of hard work and resulting success is sometimes a lie. There is no equation for the path toward homeownership and a 401(k). Daniel found a job a few months later and life shifted.
The final statement in my first poster is something we plan on teaching to our son. Don’t pursue the American Dream. Work hard, learn, teach others, give, do what you’re good at, and enjoy what happiness comes your way. That’s the best definition of success I know.