BEING A BABE IS STILL NICE

My Mom and Dad were married eighty-five years ago, June 19th, 1927. They were devotedly married for thirty-seven and a half years, until he passed on in 1964. I was thirty when he died and that is young to lose a parent and also, I was pregnant with my son. He knew I was having a second child; I came to the hospital to tell him the good news. My child was named after my dad as is the custom in some religions to name a child after a departed person, family or friend that you loved. This honors the person and it is said the person now rests in peace. Dad was about 14 years older than her and they had a fine marriage with devotion and kindness. In those days, very few people divorced, they just stayed together, and it was said for the sake of the children. Now days, divorces are common, often and some people even have multiple divorces. Mom had a cousin who divorced her husband after twenty some years of marriage and three daughters. Her name was mentioned in a hushed tone, because that was unusual in those days. She was talked about like she was a bad person. She remarried, he remarried and they went their separate ways. Movie and television stars marry divorce, have children out of wedlock and then marry again. It is the way of the world now days. When you see an article of someone being married for sixty or seventy years, it is a remarkable journey they have been on. I had a friend whose parents were married about seventy years. He died one afternoon about one p.m. and she died that same afternoon about four hours later. My friend came to visit them as she usually did twice a week, took her key and opened the door and found them both gone. They had a terrific marriage, two kids, and many grandkids and were very devoted to one another. She thinks that her Mom saw him gone and somehow she joined him. Of course, they were in their nineties, but it was a coincidence that they shared the same afternoon to pass on. Now to life and life’s glories. There are many glories in life and many we experience every day and we take them for granted. When we awaken and start a new day, which is glory Number one. Glory means splendor, magnificence, radiance and grandeur.Italicus said glory is “a torch to kindle the noble mind.” Number two glory is being able to do things for our self to prepare for the day we are in. It is simple things like showering or bathing, eating our breakfast, dressing for going out to work, play or whatever we have to do. Number three is the work, play, chores, fun, sports etc. Number four is to finish those things and Number five is to return home to where we started our day and to conclude the hours with a meal, happiness in being there and with the people we live with. When my husband had to go once a year to Chicago for a buying trip for our pharmacy because we sold other things there as the pharmacies still do today; he was gone for about five days. My son was about three or four and he missed him so much. He went to our cupboard, pushed the mirrored doors back and saw my husband’s ironed shirts ( in those days we ironed everything) and he took the sleeve of one of the shirts, stood there, held it and felt closer to his dad by doing that. It was a moment of a child’s love and devotion to his parent. It was so sweet; I can see it all these 53 years later. A few years ago, my son had to go for his job to a seminar for five days and be away from his family. His son almost seven missed him so much, that on the first day his dad was gone; he woke up and realized he was gone and he started to cry because he missed him. How sweet that is and how grand and delightful that is from a little boy who loves his Dad so much. Mom took the kids to McDonalds for breakfast and that helped to soothe their sadness of missing him. When he returned, the kids were happy and this is what being a parent means to the parent and the child. Devotion of the first order and love so strong, it lasts forever. My parents are both gone now, Dad for 52 years and Mom for 32 years and as my late brother told me when Mom was the second one to pass on “Babe (his nickname for me) we are now orphans.” True, even at the ages of fifty then for me and fifty-five for him, we were technically orphans. On Mother’s day and Father’day those of you who have parents, celebrate your good luck and presents do not matter, just show your elderly or almost elderly parents, that you honor their being around still and that you love and adore them. Remember, no matter how many friends you have or think you have, your first best friends were Mom and Dad. No one would do more for you than those two and they feel that way about you no matter how old you became. You will always be their baby even though you have children yourself which makes them grandparents. They still see you as their ‘child.’ When my younger grandchildren would be asked who is your Mommie and Daddy, and they of course knew and then my son would say “who is my Mommie and Daddy?” They learned the answers to that quickly and one day I said, “Your daddy is my little boy.” They replied “he is not your little boy, he is all grown up.” True that was, but in my heart, he is still my little boy. That is how parents feel towards their grown up children and that is an OK feeling. They will also feel that way when these little ones grow up and go on their way to adulthood. My brother called me Babe which was because he was five years older and I was his baby sister. He use to sign birthday cards to me with that word, even when I was married and had children of my own. Dear phrases are just that, very dear, sweet and loving. Always remember that your very first best friends were your parents and that was so to the day they left you and went to Heaven. You can still feel them looking down and hoping for the best for you. I wear Mom’s ring every day and never go out without having it on. I wear it not for the beauty so much, but as I feel Mom is taking care of me by me wearing it and even though I will be 82, I know I am still her baby and that is a wondrous thing for me to contemplate, even at this senior age. So you being a babe or baby to your parents and your children are still your babies, even though they are growing up, becoming teens and eventually marrying and having their own kids. So the connotation of the word baby can be thought of with love, meaning, goodness and longevity. You are and were somebody’s baby and that is a nice feeling to feel forever. So being a babe does not mean you are a sexy, pretty girl in this meaning; it stands for something even larger and more important. It stands for love, an eternal love that is never lost or gone. As was said, glory is a torch to carry the noble mind. That is what babe, baby, child means to us parents. It is a torch that never goes out and is lit throughout our lives and after too. ELITA SOHMER CLAYMAN FAIRFAX PATCH