Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

When I was twenty-three way back in 1957, I was going with (or as they called it in those days, being courted by) my boyfriend who has been my husband for 56 years. I had to work half a day until noon on Saturdays. One day, I rebelled to the boss because I was on salary and did not receive any money for the extra hours. He said he would work one half day a couple of Saturdays a month, and I would work the other two. Then he kept on changing ‘his’ Saturday shift and I still wound up working four Saturdays.

So I threatened to quit and he abided by his terms on Saturdays. Additionally, our bargain for me working Saturdays included him paying for a cab. The boss paid the five dollars charge and I paid the twenty-five cent tip. That was the deal. He paid the cab bill and also for my carryout lunch. I did not have a car then, so I came there on the transit bus and went home in a taxicab.

The cab would take me home and then at about 3:30 p.m., I walked the four blocks to the beauty parlor. I got my hair washed and curled and most of the time, I walked back home the four blocks and finished my hair up myself, because I liked it a certain way. One piece hung over the eye like the movie star Veronica Lake and some said I looked like her. When we went to Hollywood in 1974, all the travel guides on our tours said I looked like a young Maureen O’Hara. Both were nice compliments.

During the Saturday and Sunday evenings my husband and I were courting, he would pick me up in his yellow/green 1957 Chevrolet. We went to night clubs which were like large restaurants with a dance floor and an area where an up-and-coming comedian gave his talk and you hoped you could laugh at his lame jokes. You'd feel sorry for him trying to be funny while the audiences sometimes just sat there with frowns on their faces.

We saw one unknown named Jackie Vernon. He stood there acting sad and bored being there; his thing was to act like he was boring to us and himself. By doing so, he became very funny and different and the audience laughed a lot at his style. He went on to become semi prosperous. Then there was the singer named Jerry Vale. He sang love songs which were very pretty and last year I bought 4 CDS of his most famous love songs. He kind of became famous, too. He has since passed away about 4 years ago.

The night clubs were called Mardi Gras and Gabriel’s. They were nice places to go on a date with someone you cared about and it was better than going to the movies. Movies then cost about ninety cents and the time spent in the night clubs cost about twenty dollars including dinner, tip and drinks. The two places did have very tasty dinners and good drinks. I'm not a drinker, and wasn't at the time either, but it was nice to sip one all evening. Then we got up and danced, not like we do now moving about the floor and knowing what we do is very good. We look now like we belong on Dancing With The Stars and that is after thirty-three years of dancing and dance lessons.

When we married and had a night out and Mom came to take care of the kids, Mardi Gras and Gabriel’s were no longer in business. We went to a place called Westview Inn where the dance floor was about the size of my smallest bathroom in my home, but the food was excellent. These tiny places were where you had to stay in one little area and dance in place, whereas us knowledgeable dancers move all around a dance hall room.

In those days, couples did not live together before marriage. You waited until the clergyman married you and off you went to the honeymoon and then you came home to your apartment. Nowadays, couples live together for four and five years . I do not understand in my old senior age why a girl would live with a guy that long and not have the rings and the official papers. I know a young girl who is living with a guy for over four years; she is twenty-six now and has no ring. The funny thing is her mother is giving him the grandmother’s diamond, and all he has to do is to have it set in a ring which could cost him anywhere from five hundred to a thousand, and voila, they are engaged. He does not have to go to the jewelry store to choose a diamond he can afford. It is ready and waiting for him from his future mother-in-law and yet, no movements towards a wedding and marriage and kids.

She keeps on waiting and she expected it may have been on her birthday at the end of February, maybe on Valentine’s Day. In my day, you would have dumped him and been done with it. We would have thought that if we were not good enough to marry, let him be free, and we'd also be free and look for someone else.

These days there are dating services where you can look at each other’s picture on the Internet. I know of about ten young girls in their twenties who did this and one young woman who met her husband. She was about 38 and he was about 44. They connected and have been married now for four years. They did live together for the last four months after the wedding date was set and she had the ring. No silliness there of being roommates with no commitments.

My husband and I met on a blind date which is harder than meeting online and seeing each other’s photo. My name was given to him by a young man who I went out with for about thirty minutes and I did not like him and I told him I had a tummy ache and had to go home. Funny thing, he goes and gives my number and name to my husband, when we did not like each other for those thirty minutes. I turned my husband down over three phone calls, thinking he would be a jerk like the one who gave him my number.

Finally after Mom urged me to give it a try, and we listened to our moms in those days. The rest is history. Fifty-six years, two children, four grandchildren, nice home and a happy marriage.

We did not try out living together. In the 50s and early 60s, we lived at home to the moment we said “I Do.”

I guess you could say our way was better, had fewer divorces, but who knows?

If you are fortunate enough to meet the one you want and he wants you, then you have accomplished a lot. Never stop fighting or trying for your dreams to come through. I know a man who married at age 42, and she was 34 and they tried for eight years to have children. At age 50, they had twins, a boy and a girl. Happiness comes at various times, at various moments and sometimes by chance.

I say, and I made this one up, take a chance on love and wherever it occurs, let it occur spontaneously. I know a woman who was engaged to a fellow and his mother did not like her because she was a hair stylist. So she broke them up and now she has been married for thirty some years to a fine fellow, with no mother-in-law to deal with and they are very happy. The former boyfriend married twice already and his mom is still in the background, old, sour and still interfering. She was lucky she did not marry number one and number two was right there and awaiting her. Just think, he has never had to go to a barber shop or hair salon. He gets free and cuts and does not have to leave the house.

Love comes in mysterious ways and times and when it does, you should be ready for it, regardless of the ages. I know of a fifty-six year old man who is married, his second to a thirty year old woman and they are expecting their first child in a few weeks. He is actually old enough to be her father, but love is there and even though his daughter from the first marriage is only two years younger than his current second wife, everyone is happy and content. His older kids think it's nice for him to have a new baby and when his daughter has her first one, her kid will be a niece or nephew to the new child. They can play together. Who cares? It is nice to have a baby around.

Life is interesting and whatever makes you happy, that is happiness enough. Whatever people say about these late births, the parents shouldn't care. They all are happy, content and glad to be alive, and so are their children who are here, safe and healthy. It does not matter the age of one of their parents or of both their parents; the children should be cared for, loved and happy.

As Carol Channing said in 1953 in the Broadway play Gentlemen Prefer Blondes “ Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend.”

So, too, is meeting someone new regardless of your age, possibly having a child later in life than some do, being happy later life with your husband of many years or your new husband of less years. As long as you find happiness, contentment and you have your health: “Diamonds and Happiness are a girl’s best friend.

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