Embarking On A New Journey

A lady told me last year when she saw me at a dance on a Sunday afternoon at the Promenade Dance Studio, that she had Googled me one day and saw an article I wrote about a dancer I knew several years ago. I wrote nice things about her and how she had three husbands and they all were or became ballroom dancers, because this is what she wanted in a husband. Husband Number One and she danced a lot socially and when he passed on, she met another man at a dance. He was a very nice man and he did not know much about ballroom dancing, so she told him if he wanted to be with her, he would have to learn how to dance. She taught him and he loved it. When he passed on, she met number three husband at a dance and he knew how to dance and they made a lovely senior couple for the few years they had together. I knew all three of them and the last one use to tell me that he loved my articles on dance in the Amateur Dancers magazine I was writing for at that time. She was widowed for the third time and she was told by a friend of hers that I had mentioned her and her three dancing husbands and the friend said she would bring the article to her shortly. Jane, the friend brought the article to her and Elsie cried when Jane read it to her. At the funeral, the other lady showed the deceased’s step sons my article on his stepmom. He told her to read it at the service, she told him to read it and he insisted she read my words complimenting this woman and her husbands and all of their ballroom dancing. There was not a dry eye in the hall when they heard about her dancing life and her three husbands who also loved it. I found out about it and I truly was honored that my words were read at the funeral. The Internet goes far away in introducing the world to everything. Everything I wrote about her, dancing and her three dancing husbands was a tribute to her and to our beloved ballroom dancing. She had a nice life with each of them and they all were brought together with dancing as a focal point in their lives. The first one was about when she was in her late twenties and he was about twenty years older than her. They had no children and they both loved to dance. We use to see them on Sundays out in the Towson area dancing and loving it. When he passed on she met the second one and she taught him to dance and I heard that when he passed on, he had just finished dancing at a social dance. That was sad. He had children and grandchildren and they liked her a lot, so she had a family of his children and his grandchildren. Then for the third one, he had some children and grandchildren and so again she had more family. Dancing made them all a togetherness family and in her senior age, she had children and grandchildren to always remember how she made their dads and grandfathers happy with the dancing element and they made her happy with having his family as her own. Dancing can play lots of roles in many lives. In my life, it has been a constant joy and a continuing part of my life. Even when my children were young and I started when they were about twelve and sixteen, lots of things focused on our dancing. When we went to weddings, we danced and everyone commented on the quality and niceness of our dancing as a competent couple. When we went on trips or cruises, we danced in many foreign countries and on the ships. We danced in Paris, in Sweden and in the disco halls and the ballroom halls of nice cruise ships. When my son got married, we danced at his wedding and in one of the dances, they stopped the music and told the couples, if you have been married less than ten years, leave the floor, if you have been married twenty years or less leave the floor. Finally everyone was gone and we won the verbal award to have been married the longest at forty years. A year later, we won the verbal award at another wedding in the family that did the same fun thing. When we went on our first cruise in 1969, we had not started our dance ‘careers’ yet. They did on board, many group dance events and we were not too competent at it then, but we had fun. When we went to Paris in 1976, I vowed we would learn to dance for the forthcoming party we were giving for our son’s Bar Mitzvah in 1978. By then, we were pretty proficient and really showed off our moves and steps to all our guests. We had our first dance teacher and his fiancé present there and he and I danced some dances and everyone commented and praised me and Jerry danced with the fiancé and she was a dance teacher too, so they got praised too. We were at that time I was forty-four and Jerry was forty-eight. We felt like youngsters in our great capacity to dance well and having starting to learn it only about a year or so before the party. It is never too late to learn, it is great for your mind, body, arms, legs and most of all for your ego. Learning to dance has enriched my life and given me a strong message that to learn at any age is a distinctive advantage in sending old age far away. Dressing up, having a social life, keeping the aging mind active and most of all for me writing all this about it and promoting its value into a delightful hobby in life. It has also given me hundreds of dear email friends all over the country from Washington State to Washington D.C. It has shown me that dancing can bring together people from all age groups, all religions, all professional positions, who gather together on the email, on the Internet, in dance halls and studios, who love this sport or hobby with a passion. We loved it long before Dancing with the Stars became a big hit. We all knew what it meant to us and how our lives were strengthened physically and mentally and like the dancing lady with three dancing husbands, we rejoice in knowing that our feet moving about is a feat of large proportions. I have a vanity plate that reads Dancing and I love when someone stops me and asks what it means. It seems obvious to me what it designates. It tells of the love I have for this opportunity to move my body to music which in turn stimulates my whole being into having a fun time. I do not understand why they ask what it means. It cannot be because they think I am old to have a license plate like that because when I first got it placed on the car and I was thirty some years younger, I still got asked the same question. Maybe, they do not know anything about dancing. I should tell them next time someone asks what dancing is, it is my life along with husband, children and grandchildren. I did not dance when Dad was alive; I started thirteen years after his passing. I bet he would have said the following “Shana (pretty), I love that you are dancing. When I was young, I loved to do the Viennese Waltz. You are doing so much more. I am proud of you doing it and even more proud that you take after me and you write all about it.” Dad was a writer too. Dancing has given me new friends, local and through the Internet, many medals and trophies from my competition days, hundreds of stories created about it, a story used at a funeral and I also did a eulogy at a dance owner’s memorial service. From top to bottom or bottom to top, ballroom dancing has enhanced my life and given me many opportunities to create desire in others to also do this. I love ballroom dancing and that is why I proclaim it to the driving public. I know a young woman whose older son is going off to college in North Carolina next week. She told me she did not want to go along to the moving of him there, because she knew she would not stop crying on the way home of a long eight hour trip. I asked her if her son wanted her to be there with and for him and she said yes. I said “relish the moment and be there for him and if and you will cry, that is what us mothers do, we cry for happiness and happy and new times.” I think she will go along with him and his dad and she will be there for him, because he will not admit it to anyone, he will be crying, perhaps tears of joy, that he got this far, but also for missing Mom a bit too. If I had to give up dancing forever, I would cry too, but I also would always remember the happy days, hours, weeks, months and years that I enjoyed it and it was and had been a voyage of bright moments and even happier days. Do not let the thought of a few tears delay you’re doing something special like taking up dancing, and the tears at first may be frightening, because you are scared to take on a new endeavor; eventually they will become tears of joy, just like the mom will have as she sees her son excel in his college days and she will remember always, his leaving her and going out into this world without her there right by his side. As she will always be in his heart and memories, so will dancing be your partner in life in its meaning of providing you with such joy as you learn, get better at it and finally learn to enjoy every second you are performing it, not only for others watching and admiring you, but for your own heart, soul and mind. It is my additional voyage in life, along with family and friends, to maintain my dancing either my doing in at a dance hall when my old knees are able to and also to write about it encouraging others to try it. It will be just for social events and for weekly group classes that only cost usually fifteen dollars for one hour. My journey of my love for ballroom dancing will always encompass my life even at my now age of 81. This is only a number and numbers do not matter, just your ability to try and achieve is what matters. elita sohmer clayman