Feisty and Courageous For A Senior And A Younger Woman

Feisty means spirited, spunky, lively and courageous. I think being feisty is not limited to young people or to active adults also known as senior citizens. I think I am a feisty active adult. Sometimes, you must be feisty to get along in this active and fast world. Examples are when you make a phone call to Blue Cross, Verizon, Comcast or Medicare. Often, you are asked for lots of information and when you call Verizon and you are told by a recording, that you can fix your Internet problems by doing so and so; you want to scream into the phone and at the recording, “if I could get on the Internet, I would not be calling you to help me.” Once when calling Verizon to question a ten dollar add on fee for an access line that popped up suddenly on one bill, I had to listen to twelve different things to get to the one I wanted and then I thought they were hanging up on me when they said go back to original menu. Finally, the menu said if you want to talk to a customer service person, press zero. So now, I will press zero first and see what happens. Feisty, I was once to a person of religion. He had come to the house of mourning to visit the sister of the person who passed on. He walked right up to her, gave her a hug and said how sorry he was for her loss. These are all the same words used all the time by people visiting the deceased’s relatives. I have been through it twice, once for Dad and once for Mom. It is comforting when you hear it and especially so from a religious and I guess, spiritual individual. This person came in, ignored everyone in the room but the woman he was obliged to visit, since she was a member of his congregation. It was insulting to everyone else there. When my uncle George Weinstein, passed on about thirty years ago, they sat Shiva (house of mourning where people come to pay condolences to the family), the religious leader of my house of worship came to pay his condolences to my mom and me because we were members of his congregation. He did not know my uncle George, he knew me and Mom and I was his assistant to editing his sermons into a book. I knew him since he became the Rabbi of the congregation and he was a young spiritual leader and I was a young member. Mom, he knew from being on a trip to Israel with him and his group and he took care of her then as he did with the other people on the trip. Rabbi Herschel Leibowitz walked into the home of my uncle’s second wife and he walked over and shook the hands of all the men and women and gave them comfort in his presence. He hugged the children, hugged Mom and Elita and made his being there a light of solace and tranquility to all of us. When he left, everyone who had never met him, was so impressed, it was a nice feeling in the midst of sadness. The first one mentioned above did not give even a word of Hi to anyone but her, his congregant. I noticed that and so did the rest of the visitors there. He stayed a while, then left, said goodbye and a hug to her and off he was. That was the difference between two men of God and us. Years later, my brother passed on and I had put up a small plaque as was usually purchased by the loved ones on a wall of memory there. I had to stand up to be honored for doing this and my name was mentioned by him. Afterwards, I was on my way to the restrooms, and he walked by and I said to him, “I am the lady who wrote you a letter many years ago on how disrespectful you were at the house of morning for so and so (will not mention her name here) and you ignored us all in the room as if we were invisible.” You replied “that I was the only one who ever did that.” I replied “so I was ahead of my own time and I did receive your note saying I was the only one whoever wrote a note like that and that you were sorry if that did happen.” I showed him that I was indeed feisty and could talk back to a clergyman and especially if I was being truthful. The reason I wrote him that letter several years later was too get it off my mind. He was and is a brilliant clergyman and is revered by his congregants and has been there for dozens of years. The funny thing is that one day I would like to tell him, that he obtained his job there those many years ago, was partly due to people like me. Many years ago, we were congregants there and the older and esteemed Rabbi was retiring. In his place, they hired a new and young one to be their new leader. We shall call him Rabbi N. He was very snippy to many people and some said it was his being new and young. I had an incident with him because of his disrespect to some of us moms regarding his awarding some rewards to the talented and deserving school children who were graduating from there and who would give the valedictory speeches at the graduation ceremony. He seemed to choose the child from the most prominent or wealthy family. In its place, it should have been the smartest and or most accomplished children who went there and had high marks on their report cards. I challenged him on this and he was snooty and condescending to me. The senior Rabbi who was retiring heard this as he walked by and he intervened in his usual fair, kind, compassionate and intelligent way he had been doing for about fifty years there. Also, the new one had shown his ugly manner in other instances and the board of directors took my incident and the many other ones before mine and he was dismissed, gone in an instant. Then they hired the new one and he was instantly beloved by the whole congregation. I did not ever have the nerve to tell the new one hired that maybe; it was because of Elita and dozens of other complainants about Rabbi N, that he had this marvelous pulpit and job. His name was Rabbi M. I dared to write him a note about five or six years later reminding this beloved one of the one instance when he ignored us at the Shiva house. He responded, not admiring me for my comments, though I know in his heart he knew I was right. It really was not earth shaking or world happening; just a small incident remembered not so nicely. I was feisty and I was proud of me for speaking up both times, once to Rabbi N and then to Rabbi M, his successor. The successor did not fall into the same obnoxious category as N did. The new one just ignored some people and I felt he should be aware of it, even though it was about one half a decade later. Perhaps, when it happened, he was in a hurry to make his presence known and did not mean any disrespect to us and I on the other hand, did not mean discourtesy to him with my letter. It is good to be feisty sometimes; it shows we have spirit and use that spirit to clear things up or to assist in that not happening ever again to someone else. I am sure that the second one will never again or has again, ignored people in a situation of sadness with his not acknowledging them in a house of mourning. That is my ‘sermon ‘for today. When my son went to a different after school Sunday type of learning, the director/principal Mr. Leo Reich was the warmest, kindest, dearest educator I have ever known including my own childhood time and days at religious after school attendance too. He loved the children, invested his time and devotion to insure that all the kids were treated equally and lovingly and he was their friend and educator too. That is the most God like manner, all of our educators should be involved in and my children and I will never forget Mr. Leo Reich. He was a real mensch (a good guy to be revered). This is my second ‘sermon’ and if you think I am feisty, than I am honored to be spirited, spunky, lively and surely courageous in giving my honest opinion on things that get remembered. Either, they are viewed in memory with love or not so highly and it is better to be remembered with love, that is for sure. We can all learn from these true incidents and benefit from being kind, even when hardly knowing someone. Cicero said “Confidence is a feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.” We can all endeavor to be involved with great and honorable actions at all times with everyone. This is more Godly and more informative and makes for better memories. elita sohmer clayman Fairfax Station Patch