I Will Rather Than I Hope

To this date, May 15th, 2016, I have had the pleasure of writing for ‘my’ Fairfax Station 225 articles on life, on ballroom dancing, on when I was growing up and about anything that I found interesting to write on. Sometime, I ponder, am I going to run out of things to write on? Then I hear a phrase, a saying, a comment from somewhere, from someone and off I am again, to begin writing about fifteen hundred words or thereabouts. When I am finished, I get this delighted feeling in my head, my mind and even in my soul. I dance with my soles, I live with my soul. Two same sounding words, spelled differently and meaning a complete opposite in their intent and definitions. In one of my last articles, I wrote about dancing and flowers and a florist shop. In one of the lines, I said that I hope I will be able to once again feel the pleasure of ballroom dancing that will go from my feet to my heart and to my soul. My dear email friend Steven Behr in Washington State told me to change that to- I WILL BE ON MY WAY ONCE AGAIN TO FEEL THE PLEASURE OF BALLROOM DANCING THAT WILL GO FROM MY FEET TO MY HEART AND TO MY SOUL. Steven changed my words of that I hope I will be able to once again and changed it to- I will be on my way once again. He changed my words of I hope to I will. He took out the doubt I showed by using I hope instead of I will. Interesting change of wording gives a new meaning to my desire to get back into ballroom dancing, when the aching knee stops its aching. This will be accomplished by walking in the home more and I am up to 2100 feet which is 7 football fields. Joe Flacco, here I come to help you run the football field. The aching knees no longer ache as mentioned above because I had 3 shots of Orthovisc in each knee and I am raring to go. This can be applied to almost anything we want to do, not only my ballroom dancing desires and hopes. Life is mostly what we want to happen to us, rather than what does happen to us, we do not like. I knew two girls whose middle names came to signify what they were all about. One’s middle name was Faith and she seemed growing up to always have faith in the future and in herself. Her friend’s middle name was Hope and growing up, she was surely hope to her parents. These two little girls were friends from age three to twelve and then they each went their separate ways. The one named Hope constantly had joy in her life and the one named Faith seemed to believe in herself quite a bit. Having faith and joy in our senior years is sometimes difficult what with aches, pains, maybe shortages on money and watching our bodies age, in not such a loving manner. However, if we are here to watch that, then we are quite ahead of many others, who are not here. We should be grateful of our time, of our family, of our grandchildren, of our hopefully OK health. I have a friend and when you ask her how she feels via the internet, she is always making this comment, “I just turned seventy-four, but I feel like forty five or fifty.” Either, she is fooling herself or me or that is true. This is quite an accomplishment on her part to feel at seventy-four like she is twenty-four years younger than she is.Wow; she is something special at least in person or in her own eyes. Whichever it is, it is a grand way to think about your body and your mind. If she is fooling herself into this feeling and it makes her feel good to write this, then bravo to her for having the power to write this and to actually experience and comprehend these thoughts. Another person I know says every time you ask her how are you, she replies that she is wonderful, fine and quite happy. That is quite a lot of an answer, yet it makes her feel fine to tell someone that and if that someone is not feeling so great herself, it makes her wonder, how can this woman be that great, when I am feeling a bit not so great. Stand back and see that these two ladies are commenting about themselves and who are we to dispute their remarks? So I am going to try one of these statements, the next time someone says how am I? I will say “I am wonderful, thank you for asking, and I feel fine.” I want to see what that statement will do for my real feelings. Who knows, the simple expressing that you feel fine, are fine and everything is wonderful, is kind of wonderful in its concept. So dear Steven in Washington State, I will now say about my future dancing endeavors, “I will be on my way to ballroom dancing.” I will not say I hope to, because that is changed to I Will. I will is more that I will accomplish, it rather than I hope to. Will is more impressive and shows ambition, rather than I hope, which shows a bit of doubt. We do not want to be doubtful, dubious, unclear and uncertain. We want to be certain, sure and indisputable in something we believe in. Dad use to say “today is good, tomorrow will be better and the future even better.” He truly believed that and even when things were not going well financially, he thought this would happen. I use to wonder as a kid, then a teenager and even as an adult, did he really think this so for himself and us or was he just saying something that sounded nice? I know now, he truly thought this until the day he passed on. It made him into quite a pleasant fellow and parent. I was wondering what I would endeavor to write about for article number 225 and here I have achieved it and brought forth another article. I did not hope I would, I knew I will do it. As Steven said in his email to me “remember the real joy and success comes from the journey.” This has been a delightful, gratifying and gladdening experience writing for Fairfax Station for almost 3.5 months and February 6 is the date of my first article for them and so I wish myself and them for many, many, more articles on life, ballroom dancing and interesting experiences and good times. This is my journey now as a senior and what a journey it is, being a senior, a mom, a wife of fifty- six years on this coming Thursday July 5th to the same husband, a grandmother of four beautiful grandchildren and a mom to my son and daughter. Also, writing and being able to travel this beautiful journey of life and living at age 81, I wish all my readers that their journey in life is full of happiness and good health. elita sohmer clayman Fairfax Station Patch