A Ladder Of Achievement In Your Own Backyard

Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, was the founder of humanistic psychology. He saw that the needs of human beings were arranged like a ladder. He said the bottom steps were physical, next was safety, then there was social and at the top was to fulfill one’s self to become all he or she is capable of. Maslow said, “The great lesson from the true mystics is that the sacred is in the ordinary that it is to be found in one’s daily life, is in one’s neighbors, friends and family and one’s back yard.” I truly believe that every one of us is competent and talented enough to find something they love to do or be and that they can achieve it and they can be proficient in doing so. When we danced in the beginning years of our ballroom dancing activities, I saw this many times. When we were in Florida for a dance competition I was entered in with my dance teacher as my partner; the first night before the actual competition, I saw lots of this. There were elderly ladies in their seventies (now I have become that elderly lady in her seventies) practicing for the event with their young teachers. They were amazing; they looked like young girls or young women moving their senior bodies as if they were young women. I saw a spastic young man who could barely walk straight and when he got on the dance floor, he moved like he was a young Fred Astaire. I saw a young woman named Jill who danced like she was a movie star and one leg was shorter than the other. She had a built up shoe and she got out there and danced solo exhibition dances. You never noticed her built up dance shoe because you were overwhelmed with her talent. I saw a blind senior who danced with her coach and no one knew she was blind until the end when awards were being given out. The master of ceremonies announced that she had won first place in six dances. All of these people were human beings who used what they had, rather than not give it their all because of a thing called handicap. They were not handicapped, they were limited in some things, but were unlimited in other activities. My own blind aunt could knit a dress with multiple strands of wool which really requires looking at which strand and color you are using to make it come out well. Somehow, she had a way of distinguishing the colors and every dress she completed was not a solid color. It was a plethora of multiple colored wool. When she wore the dresses, no one could believe that a person without sight could have created it. Once while on a cruise with her husband, she met Thornton Wilder, the author. He was amazed at her and her accomplishments. When you looked at her closed eyes, you saw she could not see. You also saw a lovely woman who had achieved more than anyone could have imagined when she was growing up. Besides knitting, she was a gourmet cook and I saw her meals with my own eyes when we went to visit her in New York City and we had dinner in her home. She never burned herself at the stove and everything she cooked or baked could have earned her a spot on The Rachael Ray show. The spastic young man could not walk a straight line; his doctor suggested he be given ballroom dance lessons. The Mom found a dance teacher who was willing to work with him and he, too, was amazing when he walked out and danced with her in this competition. He wore a top hat, had a cane (for added drama in the dance) and the roaring applause after his performances made everyone have a tear in their eye. He was not spastic when he danced; he was just a not so plain, young man whose gift to himself was the dancing awards he was winning. The young woman with the shorter foot became Ginger Rogers for about thirty minutes when she danced. She was lovely and when we came back a few years later, she had an operation that lengthened her short foot and it almost was at a normal and equal height as her other one. She was still dancing, still winning, still smiling and a lot happier. She had a baby since we saw her last and her little girl was there, too. Everyone has in their brain,a spot of desire that they can make come true. No matter their age, their disability, their ability, there sight or no sight, their physical handicap, as Maslow said, “the sacred is in the ordinary that is found in in one’s daily life.” It is there in our back yard of our existence and it is waiting to be released and to be used for happiness and self-accomplishment. Look into your own life and see and think about something you have always wanted to do to enhance your daily existence. I love to write and to express myself and sometimes I marvel (I modestly say) of what comes out of my mind, my fingers on the keyboard and my soul. As I am advancing as we all do daily in age, I believe I see, as Maslow said, that our needs are like a ladder that we ascend and reach the top. We only have to descend the ladder to come and do daily necessary things, but most of the time we can ascend as high as we think we can. Our egos ascend with us and we climb and we soar and in so doing, we reach all the way to the top and even higher. I use to tell my children that “I loved them up to the sky” and that is real high and high is where we want to be. Our lives will be exhilarated, enhanced, exciting and most of all we can be ecstatic in accomplishing all there is to be found. Maslow was right when he said, “the top is to fulfill one’s self and you become all you are capable of becoming.” The ladder becomes less tall as you become taller yourself in all that you now can achieve. elita sohmer clayman now a young 81 years of age    