Love Can Come When You Least Expected

When I was twenty-three way back in 1957, I was going with or as they called it in those days, being courted by my boyfriend who has been my husband for fifty-six years. I had to work half a day until noon on Saturdays. One day, I rebelled to the boss because I was on salary and did not receive any money for the extra hours. He said OK, he would work one half day Saturday two times a month and I would work the other two. Then he kept on changing ‘his’ Saturday shift and I wound up working still four Saturdays. So I threatened to quit and he abided by his terms on Saturdays. Either way, I went to the hairdresser, now called hair stylist at four P.M. I took a cab home from work, the boss paid the five dollars charge and I paid the twenty-five cent tip. That was our bargain on me working Saturdays, he paid the cab bill and also for my carryout lunch. I did not have a car then, so I came there on the transit bus and went home in a taxicab. I would go home first from the cab and then about three thirty in the afternoon, I walked the four blocks to the beauty parlor now called hair salon. Then I got my hair washed and curled and most of the time, I walked back home the four blocks and finished my hair up myself because I liked it a certain way. One piece hung over the eye like the movie star Veronica Lake and some said I looked like her. When we went to Hollywood in 1974, all the travel guides on our tours said I looked like a young Maureen O’Hara. Both were nice compliments. The evenings of Saturday and Sunday while we were courting, he would pick me up in his yellow/green Chevrolet 1957 year which probably cost then about two thousand dollars. We went to night clubs that was what they were called then. They were like a large restaurant with a dance floor and a floor where a comedian who was up and coming and not well known gave his talk and you hoped you could laugh at his lame jokes because you felt sorry for him trying to be funny and the audiences sometimes just sat there with frowns on their faces. We saw one who was unknown then and his name was Jackie Vernon. He stood there acting sad and bored being there; his thing was to act like he was boring to us and himself. By doing so, he became very funny and different and the audience laughed a lot at his style. He went on to become semi prosperous and then there was the singer, very handsome, named Jerry Vale. He sang love songs which were very pretty and last year I bought his CD of his most famous love songs. He kind of became famous and prosperous too. The night clubs were called Mardi Gras and the other one was Gabriel’s. They were nice places to go on a date with someone you cared about and it passed several hours and it was better than going to the movies. Movies then cost about ninety cents and the time spent in the night clubs cost about twenty dollars including dinner, tip and drinks. The two places did have very tasty dinners and good drinks. I was and now not a drinker, but it was nice to sip one all evening. Then we got up and danced, not like we do now moving about the floor and knowing what we do is very good. We look now like we belong on Dancing With The Stars and that is after thirty-three years of dancing and dance lessons. When we married and had a night out and Mom came to take care of the kids, there were no longer Mardi Gras and Gabriel’s in business. We went to a place called Westview Inn where the dance floor was about the size of my smallest bathroom in my home, but the food was excellent. These tiny places were where if you knew how to really dance, you had to stay in one little area and dance in place; whereas us real knowledgeable dancers move all around a dance hall room.We also went to a disco dance hall, where they played non stop disco music and we knew it well, We would disco for about 30-40 minutes, then eat our dinner and go back to disco music dancing for hours We had good feet in those days and god knees. It was called Gerards. In those days, couples did not live together before marriage. You waited to the clergyman married you and off you went to the honeymoon and then you came home to your apartment for living life. Nowadays, couples live together for four and five years and do not get the legality done. I do not understand in my old senior age, why a girl would live with a guy that long and not have the rings and the official papers and she keeps on doing it for year after year. I know a young girl who is living with the guy for over four years; she is twenty-six now and no ring. The funny thing is her mother is giving him the grandmother’s diamond, a nice one and all he has to do is to have it set in a ring setting which could cost him anywhere from five hundred to a thousand and voila, they are engaged. He does not have to go to the jewelry store to choose a diamond he can afford, pay it out if he does not have the cash and be bogged down about its size. It is ready and waiting for him from his to be mother-in-law and yet, no movements towards a wedding and marriage and kids. She keeps on waiting and she expected it may be on her birthday the end of February, maybe on Valentine’s Day and whatever day there is. In my day, you would have dumped him and been done with it.If he cannot commit to marriage, why live together just for the doing of it. We would have thought that if we were not good enough to marry, let him be free and you too are free and look for someone else. Now days there are dating services where you can look each other’s picture over on the internet and make yourself available to meeting etc. I know of about ten young girls in their twenties who did this and one young woman who met her husband and she was about thirty-eight and he was about forty-four. They connected and are married now for four years. They did live together for the last four months after the wedding date was set and in progress and she had the ring. No silliness there of being roommates with no commitments. We met on a blind date which is harder than meeting online and seeing each other’s photo. My name was given to him by a young man who I went out with for about thirty minutes and I did not like him and I told him I had a tummy ache and had to go home. Funny thing, he goes and gives my number and name to my husband when we did not like each other for those thirty minutes. I turned my husband down three phone calls he made to me thinking he would be a jerk, like the one who gave him my number. Finally after Mom urged me to give it a try and we sure listened to our moms in those days. I did and the rest is history, fifty-six years, two children, four grandchildren, nice home and a happy marriage. We did not try out living together, we all in those days of the fifties and early sixties lived at home to the moment we said “I Do.” I guess you could say our way was better, less divorces, who knows? If you are fortunate enough to meet the one you want and he wants you, then you have accomplished a lot. Never stop fighting or trying for your dreams to come through. I know a man who married at age forty-two and she was thirty-four and they tried for eight years to have children. Lo and behold at age fifty and she was forty-two, they had twins, a boy and a girl. Happiness comes at various times, at various moments and sometimes by chance. I say and I made this one up, it is my saying: Take a chance on love and wherever it occurs, let it occur spontaneously. I know a woman who was engaged to a fellow and his nasty mother did not like her. So she broke them up and now she has been married for thirty some years to a fine fellow, no mother-in-law to deal with and they are very happy. The former boyfriend married twice already and his mom is still in the background, old, sour and still interfering. She was lucky she did not marry number one and number two was right there and awaiting her. Just think, he has never had to go to a barber shop or hair salon, he gets free and good cuts and does not leave the house. Think of the thousands of dollars they have and they travel a lot using it up.She was a hair stylist. Love comes in mysterious ways and times and when it does, you are ready for it and so is he, regardless of the ages. I know of a fifty-six year old man who is married, his second to a thirty year old young woman and they are expecting their first child, a son in a few weeks. He is actually old enough to be her father, but love is there and even though his daughter from the first marriage is only two years younger than his current second wife; everyone is happy and content. His older kids think it nice for him to have a new baby and when his daughter has her first one; her kid will be a niece or nephew to her new brother. They can play together, uncle and niece or nephew. Who cares? It is nice to have a baby around, the fellow who was fifty with his first children, twins and the fifty-six year old new dad with his new baby son. Life is interesting and whatever makes you happy, that is happiness enough and whatever people say about these late births, it is not of the parents’ caring. They all are happy, content and glad to be alive for this. Diamonds are still a good thing and if you love him, take it and be happy. elita sohmer clayman