Quirky, Mean, Nice

Looking back, it seems I had a bunch of interesting friend or quirky relatives on both sides of my family. Cousin Al and his wife Minnie were very nice people. Whenever you came to their home, the minute you walked into the hallway from outside, Cousin Al would offer you food, lots of good food and if you said no thank you because you had just eaten, he appeared to be agitated that you did not partake of his offering. It was nice food, tasty, delicious and laid out beautifully on trays in the dining room. It was as if he knew you were coming and had Cousin Minnie prepare it especially for you. It got to the point that Mom and I who would take a four block walk to visit them every other Friday evening after we had our dinner, found it was hard to go there and not eat something even when your stomach was full. So we would take a plate and fill it as Cousin Al watched to see if we trying everything on the platter. Then we would eat pieces sparingly and out of the corner of our eyes, we could see him looking if we were eating or mushing the food around in the plate. It got to the point, I as a twelve year old that really enjoyed going there, stopped wanting to visit them. Finally, they moved out of the neighborhood and we did too and really never saw them again. I kind of missed not having someone to push food on me or us and they did it because they were good people and liked others to partake of their bountiful food on the table. Then there are others who you visit and you can be there two hours and they do not offer you a drink of water. Finally, you have to meekly ask “may I have a glass of water? “You feel foolish asking even though you came a distance to see them. I would rather have Cousin Al and Cousin Minnie to keep on offering food I do not want. They at least make you feel welcome and happy you came to visit them. Then you have some people who disturb you when you are in the hair salon getting your weekly hairdo. Other hair stylists, who may not be busy, keep on stomping on your time there. They stand alongside of your chair and chat with the hairstylist doing you. She stops, waves her curling iron all around the air and you wonder, is she going to hit me in the eye with the darn old steaming hot iron? If she is cutting your hair or even trimming it, and she stops to chat with the hairstylist with nothing to do, you fear you will be cut in the shape of a Mohawk hair do because she turned around to chat and missed the right strands to cut. Once when I was waiting my turn in another shop, I walked up to the stylist and said hi and the lady in the chair,an old one at that, probably my now age then, said to me “this is my time with her, do not infringe on MY time by talking to her.” I thought to myself, hope I am never like that when I am her age. You are in the elevator and someone tries to become extra friendly. You do not want to offend them and if you are my husband four years ago, you hold the door open for them to get out and while you are doing that, the other guy with him, pickpockets your back pocket and gets all your identification cards and some credit cards. You do not realize that because it is winter time and you are wearing a heavy coat. How he got under his coat and picked the small and plentiful wallet out of your back pocket where it does not belong, I will never understand even four years later. Of course, he went and used one card and charged over 2500 dollars in 4 different stores to you and when the credit card company noticed that, you received the dreaded call from them. They tell you that unusual activity occurred to the tune of 2500 dollars in the time span of 30 minutes. You now look and see that your back pocket is cleaned out and you have had your pocket picked. There was a relative on Mom’s side who married her first cousin. Even in those days of about 1927 or so, that was not considered right to do and their children turned out mentally fine and one became an engineer and the other a French teacher. Everyone that knew them thought that quite quirky. So Mom was related to them on both sides. He was a cousin on her dad’s side and she was a cousin on her mom’s side and they were first cousins, that was what was said. They were very happy for about fifty years until one passed on. She was a bit quirky, but very nice.She liked to save money and always looked a mess. When she passed on, he remarried and to her sister and she lived the life of luxury on the money he saved with wife number one. She got a fur coat, a big diamond engagement ring and traveled the world with him. He told my dad, that the Bible said you should marry your wife’s sister, if the wife died and that is what he did (??). We also have quirky friends. A friend of mine has a friend she was best friends with for twenty years via the internet. They never met, but the California one called the Maryland one her big sister. She told the Maryland one that she liked her better than her own biological sister. They loved each other emailing daily. One day, the Maryland one sent the California one a cartoon on the presidential election going on in 2008. The California one told her via email not to tell her how to vote, that she was intelligent enough to figure it out herself and therefore she ended the many years friendship at once. The Maryland one did not dignify her sending the political cartoon to her and never have they emailed or spoken in the almost four years since the election. The morale of that story is watch what you send over the email especially if it involves politics. A lady I know has a hard time getting her hair done because she and the hairstylist argue over the minutest items. If she says, she wants her this way, the other one says; no it will look better that way. She always puts up a speech barrier whenever the client asks her a question and wants to change her hairdo. I said to stop going there,because she almost has a heart attack the morning of her appointment. No hairdo is worth that. I had a doctor who dressed very fancily in his office. He loved ties and they cost about one hundred dollars per tie. One day, he was giving me a shot for the Arthritis in my knee I have mentioned in these articles. That was about in 2001 and he hands me a booklet to read and I thought it was information of the new shot being given.It was a book of where he buys his expensive ties. I told him I was concerned about my shot, not interested in his ties. He looked at me quizzically and said “Oh I thought you would like this catalogue.” Wow, sure, I wanted to look at his high priced tie, while I was getting stuck from a new shot on the marke I am not saying these folks are nuts or mean. They kind of are interesting and different people who you do not meet every day (Thank God). I bet if you look back on your life experiences, you may find quirkier folks than these few and also some very nice and generous folks too. When we first started to dance, there were some mean spirited folks dancing there and when they saw new people, they tried to impress us with their longevity being dancers. He would dance with a new person and try to correct her in the step like he was her teacher. The new folks complained to the owner of the studio and banned him from ever coming there again because he made people feel inadequate because they were new. He had been in the lumber business and we heard he built on to his home a big ballroom dance floor where he and the wife could practice and he could invite dancers to dance for free at his lovely ballroom dance floor. He had many takers coming to his floor, but they had to put up with his correcting their dancing every time they came. Eventually, no one came even for any cost, so he was again a loser. He had his wife and they were the dancers at his dance party. Either way, it makes for interesting meetings and gatherings and who is to say who is quirky or too generous? They all were not mean spirited in the sense of the word; they just wanted to show their superiority they thought they had and to show off to nice people who did not appreciate their show off attitudes. It is better to be pleasant, not pushy with words or food and most of all to enjoy each other for whom we each are and everyone is unique unto our own self and that is what makes us interesting and fun to be around. My friend Steven Behr, Sr. from Washington State says "Elita what a great memory you have and you have the ability to recall such interesting stories about people who have crossed your path in life. Friendship works both ways and your friends who you do not know who are stimulated by you." Steven is a wellness educator who stimulates his classes with his interesting views and help. Sometimes, he uses some of my words to encourage his students. He is dear,compassionate, kind, caring, smart and decent. We kid that we shall meet someday with our spouses too and he and I will dance to his favorite song Dancing In The Dark. elita sohmer clayman