See Yourself As You, Not What Others Think

“Be what you want to be, not what others want to see.” When I was a kid, we always wanted to be good, polite, smart and for our parents to be proud of us. I do not believe I ever said no to a request from my parents. I was kind, obedient and really what I would call a good kid. In school, we obeyed the teachers and I hear that in Catholic schools, the nuns would paddle the kids. I heard this from two prominent talk show persons. I imagine that is not in effect now. Things are different now and it is up to psychologists to decide which way is better. Now persons are called down, if they holler at their kids in public. We were in a chain restaurant last year and the group sitting next to us had a father who constantly spoke nasty to his son. The kid said no to something and the father said you will not eat now and took the hamburger away. He sat with his other child, his male friend and his child. The boy sat there for at least forty-five minutes yearning for food. Even the waitress was disturbed. She kept saying “honey, would you like some crackers or a fries.?” The father told her to not ask, he would choose for his child. My husband and I were sick to our stomachs and I could barely eat. I kept giving him the evil eye, it did not matter, and he kept on berating the child, a beautiful little about nine year old boy who had tears in his eyes. The other kids were distraught, I think they were cousins and finally they left. I had heavy indigestion. If I had the phone number of Social Services, I would have called them. I realized that it was evening and I probably would not have reached them. I kept looking at the boy with a smile and hoped maybe, it helped with a bit of soothing, to know someone was admiring him. The child held up well and it is said “you cannot take away my dignity.” This darling little boy will survive and someone, I hope will be on his side and now, it is a year later and if I ever saw the dad, I would know him. He is not someone I would want to know. The waitress told another waitress and they called the manager and as he arrived, they left. She told us in the 20 years she was serving folks, no one ever did that. She, too, was almost in tears. I am glad that couples can meet easier with online sites. I know someone who met their spouse online and she was from Michigan and he was from Pennsylvania. A good marriage has ensued and the two are very happy. They each were interested in some hobby online and that is how they connected. It has proved to be for them a great connection. It is unfortunate, that this little boy has a father like he does; he will hopefully still become a happy child. Maybe, someone in the family intervened and things changed. Whenever I go to that chain restaurant, I think of him.This child could not choose his father online. This child, my friends from Michigan and Pennsylvania, my meeting my husband, we all have been involved with people in our lives who influence us usually better, and maybe this boy is also too now. Wouldn’t it be nice, if that father read this column and realizes it is him and changed his ways since we saw him in action? Let no one take away your dignity, whether it is a salesperson in a store, whether it is a family member, whether it is a stranger, whether it is your plumber, electrician or another service person. You are a dignified child, teen, adult or senior. You are unique, delightful, kind, caring and smart. Be what you want to be, not what others want to see. See yourself as you, a special and respectful person.This father was none of those. elita sohmer clayman