Valentine present to yourself

Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past become the gateway that lead to new beginnings. A very good line that I read on the internet. Anyone that had obstacles when they were growing up; perhaps an illness that kept them behind in school and then goes ahead and overcomes them, that is their destiny. I had a cousin named Minna Faye, always called by both names; she was my mom’s brother Mike’s daughter. Mike was not born deaf; he had a misdiagnosed childhood illness and lost his hearing when he was about seven. Therefore, he could not hear and then could not speak. Mike married Aunt Louise who had lost her hearing as a teen due to an illness too and she could talk some because she had time to learn to speak before her illness. She spoke in a hoarse throaty manner, some could understand her, and most could not. They married and had a boy named Melvin and daughter named Minna Faye It was hard on the kids having parents who were deaf and could not speak. A speaking person had to come in the house every day to talk to the babies Melvin and Minna; else they would never have learned to talk if there was silence in the home all the time. Friends, relatives and neighbors came in and Melvin and Minna spoke well. Minna had rheumatic fever as an almost teen and had to stay in bed for a year, so she lost out on the year’s schooling. They brought in tutors and she went back to school a year behind. When she graduated high school, the counselor told her to go to trade school; she would not be college material. This was a harsh statement and Minna proved the nasty counselor wrong. She went on to graduate college, get a masters’ degree and guess what? She got her PhD and taught in a college as a professor for many years. Nothing was predestined for Minna, she had three road blocks. Deaf parents, an illness and a mean counselor who did not encourage her to excel. Excel, she did and went further in education then the person who had no desire to inspire her. Another saying is “ put your future in good hands-your own.” That was true of Cousin Minna Faye, she did not let the counselor in a high school deter her dreams, and she did not let this lady of little knowledge keep her away from her real destiny-becoming a college professor. At the college she instilled great hope in her students, inspired them and encouraged each and every one of them to do what she had done against a lot of adversity. Stories like this are good lessons for all of us; young, middle age and even us seniors. No matter what you do, there are always the ‘critics.’ I said in another article that my theater teacher at Catonsville Community College in 1969, when I was thirty-five (old in those days) said that “a critic is one who does nothing himself, he criticizes others and that is how he makes a living.” His name was Mr. Paul Boxell and I never forgot that definition. In our everyday life, there are employers who constantly pick on competent employees. Some of them have half the education of the ones they are complaining about.Somehow, they rose up in the company, who knows why or how and they stand tall in their own minds. They figure they have power to go after someone under them and that they are top themselves. Whereas, they are not on top many times from earning their positions; perhaps they put money into a business and that is how they ‘rose’ to the top. Many times, they do not know how to relate to people who have higher education than they have or they feel the power is very strong and by nitpicking, evaluating and assessing the value of someone else, that makes them the king. Of course, when we work at these jobs, we are at the mercy of these folks who try to get the best of us. Now days with many people seeking jobs that they are over qualified for, sometimes they have to take the job because they need the money to survive. All of them know that the boss over them sometimes is their constant critic and they have to ‘take’ it or lose the job they need so much. Eventually, if they are lucky, they will overcome this menial position and get one they are truly qualified for. I know of someone in the medical field, very educated, very smart, personable and dear and she is in a position where the ‘boss-owner’ is her critic when she is doing a top job in a tough situation and he not being in the medical field or educated in the medical field owns the business where she works. She is the top person in education, knowledge, decency and perception of what is necessary to achieve in this position. Her day will come and perhaps sooner than the ‘boss’ can perceive and when she leaves that position and has her own similar business where she is ‘boss’; then if he has learned something from the situation, he will become wise. He will have lost her and other key employees and then he will know that to be a critic is being one who knows nothing about important things This person is like my Cousin Minna Faye, in a situation not of her making, but she will overcome it and will shine and when she is the employer, she will reach out to her employees and understand they are doing great jobs and that she appreciates them. Nothing is predestined as the saying relates; the obstacles will be no longer because the new gateway is leading to a new beginning. You have put your future in your own capable hands and no one can shake your hands and take it away. They will be stronger for the strength your hands give to their hands. You in your new position will remember the critic who was your employer; and you will resolve to be nothing like him and his memory will be distant and far from your new life. Approval and compliments will be your motto and you will feel joy in helping others not to ever feel the sting of someone criticizing you when you do not deserve it. As my late dad always said “today is good, tomorrow will be better and the days after than will be quite wonderful.” The obstacle of now becomes the joy of this coming adventure of things becoming quite beautiful. You will see that what I say will be the backbone and the beauty of your new position and that position will be one of strength, courage, decency and help to others to achieve what you just have accomplished. When I took this position to write online for several different ‘bosses’ they were all different kinds of people. The first Robert Jacob Meyer who was the editor of Amateur Dancers magazine and I were pals in writing on dancing. He appreciated my sentiments on dancing, on life and I use to handwrite my stories and mail them to him. I have a nice handwriting but it still was a bit hard for him, he had to retype them and whatever was necessary because it was a printed magazine, not an online one. Actually in 1990, there were really no online writings like we have now. In the year of 2000, I got my first computer and emailed him my first computer story. He emailed me “you are now in the modern computer world. Congratulations.” My second online magazine was and is for Rene Zgraggen of Alabama and he and I are email writers/publishers and he is a fine man and lives in Alabama and I email him every month a current and new article/story. After that I wrote for More magazine and Fred Astaire Dance magazine online. Then I wrote for another online publication and all I got was criticism of some of the stories, not for the content, but the editor wanted every word I wrote to practically have a reference mentioned. It got so, I was unable to put the thoughts down without her wanting me to reference it and if she did not like the place I referred to, she constantly made those comments. It got to the point where we decided to mutually discontinue my writings for her online place. Then I started on July 19, 2011 to write for my now beloved Cockeysville. Patch. Com with the fine, educated and dear editor Nayana Davis. She appreciates my writings, my talent and my courage writing on subjects from the past, from now and the future. She is what in the Yiddish language is called a ‘mensch or mensh.’ Two spellings and I do not have to reference that remark. So you see there are lots of critics out there and hopefully, more complimentary and appreciative folks, who know how to encourage, inspire, delight, support and cheer their employees and this is a good destiny for the employee and a better outcome for the boss. No matter what you may do, do not let those criticizing critics deter you from your goal because you in the end (or beginning) are the top of the line and they will stay at the bottom, because they do not know how to applaud anyone about anything. It is your predetermined fate to excel and excel is your middle name. Let no one take that away from you ever again. Today on Valentine's day, give this to yourself as a gift from your heart. elita sohmer clayman