The Velvet Hammer And The Velvet Dress

Another nice saying is “Don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy now, doesn’t mean that you aren’t headed for sunshine.” When I was young, a nice song was popular with the title of Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Storms, sunshine, and rainbows are nice subjects. Storms are good for dry grass, hot summer days and now and then, we need the rain. Sunshine is good for the body sometimes, for fruits and vegetables to ripen and rainbows are pretty to see.

Your path is the way to your destination and sometimes it is a long path to arrive at your goal and your journey’s end.

When we first started to take ballroom dance lessons in November, 1977, we felt sometimes that the journey was a destination; we would never reach for a long time. The first dance we wanted to learn was a Foxtrot, because it was an easy dance to comprehend. After a few hours of learning it, we got brave and our second dance to learn was a Cha- Cha, a Latin dance. It and the next dance, Rhumba or Rumba was a fine addition to the other two. Now we had almost, we thought, reached our destination.

We could go anywhere to dance and shine a bit in what we now knew. At that time, we were invited to a wedding from an employee who worked with my husband. It was in a hall called The Fountain Bleu on Belair Road. We dressed up and had a nice time, a tasty dinner and there was a great live band. We got up several times to dance and everyone was amazed that Dr. Jerry could dance so well. Of course, his wife,Elita helped to make him look good. They always say the lady helps the man to show off and to look quite advanced. Let us say, we both made each other shine. We really did not know that much, but we knew enough, that we looked like a rainbow after a storm. The guests there clapped for us after we finished a Cha-Cha. The others dancing were not as polished as us, and it made us feel like our money spent for the lessons was well worth it. These people were not like when we danced with others in higher levels of dance, at the dance studio on Saturday nights. At that time, almost everyone dancing was dancing better than us due to more time dancing, more knowledge and more experience. At the wedding, we were at the highest level there, because we were very experienced and showed it.

So it depends where you are dancing and who you are dancing with at what venue. It really does not matter how well, how experienced you are or how many lessons you had. If you just go out and stand there and try to dance, regardless of your experience and time dancing, than you are at the high level or plateau, regardless of time spent learning.

At the memorial for Neil Armstrong today, the last man to walk on the moon said about the first man to walk on the moon, “you were the first.” It is nice to be first in many things. There used to be a car rental company named Avis, whose slogan was that they were number two and that, was still a fine thing.

I heard on a talk show, the moderator say, we should use a velvet hammer for doing something you had to do. Just think about a hammer made out of velvet, a soft smooth fabric that dresses and jackets are made up of. For my son’s wedding, I wore a long two piece navy velvet dress. It was in November, 2000 and it was a cool late Fall afternoon and it felt good against the body in the almost cold afternoon hours. So a hammer made out of velvet would be nice to hammer a nail in the wall with pretty wallpaper on it.Do you think being of velvet fabric, it would not make the hole as big as a normal hammer would? Would the velvet material soften the ‘blow’ to the wall? Of course not, the hole will be the same size and will allow the same type painting or knick knack to attach to the nail. The name velvet will ‘soften the blow.’ Sometimes, names or words can soften the blow. You have heard the old expression that “sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt me.” A few weeks ago, I went to the hair salon after not going there every week like I usually do and was gone for about six weeks. The hairdresser looked at me when I was finished and said “you looked terrible when you came in.” Wow, that made me feel real good!!. Did she never hear “unless you can say something nice, say nothing at all?” She would be the first one to make a comment, if you said that to her. Wow, what do you mean, she would say sarcastically?

I would rather use a velvet hammer than hit a rusty nail into someone’s mind by saying an uncomplimentary remark. I am never sarcastic and do not vilify anyone. I would rather say something nice, even if the person really does not deserve the remark. They are so stunned to hear it coming from you, especially if they have said something not so nice about you. It is worth seeing the look on their face to hear something pleasant about them, when they said a lot to the detriment of you

Maybe, the next time, they will think before they speak and when they speak, they will use velvet, not a hammer, but a velvet cloth. A cloth to wipe away any meanness, any disparaging thoughts and most of all, to smooth away mean words. Words can hurt and words can heal. I would rather be a healer holding velvet, smooth, pretty pieces of imaginary material and arriving at the destination of a long journey, having said some very pleasant things to others along the path.

There is an expression; “it is my way or no way.” That is not the way to go. The way to be happy is to have a journey with a designated path and a peaceful beginning to more happiness, newly found at the end of the journey, which really becomes our new beginning. Velvet is really nice for the wintertime approaching us and also all year round too. I shall look for my navy velvet dress from the year 2000 and see if it still fits and if it is still smooth and soft. I am sure it is soft and smooth, getting into it would be extremely great.