Talking To Your Children About Ebola: 4 Tips To Consider

By Dr. Michael Oberschneider

With the death of Mr. Thomas Duncan and news that a second health care worker in Texas was just diagnosed with Ebola, anxiety over Ebola is mounting in the US. As a psychologist in private practice just miles away from Dulles Airport, where Mr. Duncan traveled several weeks ago, the worries of anxiety have lingered. Several of my patients have expressed concern over the close proximity of the airport and even the possibility of contracting Ebola – interestingly, all of these patients have been older children and teens.

As I have told my patients who have discussed the topic with me, there is a difference between fear and anxiety whereas to fear something that is legitimate and real is healthy, but to be anxious about that same thing without cause is not. In this case, Ebola is transmitted via bodily fluids (e.g., vomit, blood or diarrhea) and when an individual with Ebola is seriously ill. Points of entry for the fluids could include cuts, abrasions, or one’s mouth, nose or eyes.

So, if one is in close proximity to someone with Ebola, fear is a very healthy response, especially if that individual is seriously ill. The virus is real, highly contagious and can be life threatening. Anxiety over Ebola, however, is not helpful. This is because anxiety is not based in reality, but rather emotional conflict and cognitive distortion. There are also so many unknowns about the virus for many of us – even the CDC continues to fine-tune their protocols in response to the newer diagnoses – which only heightens our conflict, and in turn, our worry and anxiety.

While anxiety is not helpful, it can get the best of us at times, especially as parents since our children are so important to us. In response to some of the statements concerning Ebola made by some of my child and teen patients over the past weeks, I offer the following 4 recommendations to parents on the topic.

1. Check your anxiety level before talking to your children and know the facts. Children can be very perceptive to how their parents are feeling, so make sure you are calm, reassuring and confident if and when you choose to discuss the illness with yours. Also, be clear with your information and keep it simple. While there are certainly still unknowns pertaining to the virus, there are clear guidelines on how the virus is contracted and what precautions can be taken to safeguard against contracting it.

2. Consider your audience when determining what you share or do not share on the topic with your children. Regardless of the concerning or upsetting information we receive as adults (and parents) via the media, we must always be mindful of what our children are capable of handling before discussing things. Thus, your child’s age, maturity level, and threshold for worry/anxiety are all things to consider before discussing Ebola. Just as you would not discuss natural disasters, terrorist attacks or school shootings, in the same way with 4, 8, or 16 year old children due to developmental differences, you would not do the same for the topic of Ebola with your children of varying age.

3. Minimize your children’s exposure to the media. Turn off the news! News agencies have been on fire with the Ebola story for the past several weeks. And while Ebola is a newsworthy story, such wide spread exposure can cause increased anxiety for our children. Interestingly, several child and teen patients brought up the topic of Ebola with me after seeing a story on CNN from the hallway in an office adjacent to mine.

4. Help your children get control over the things they can control. This is an excellent time to teach and/or review the importance of good hygiene with your children to avoid contracting viruses in general. Washing one’s hands frequently, avoiding contact with the bodily fluids of others, covering your mouth and nose when sneezing and coughing will altogether reduce the risk of viral infection and will serve to give your child a sense of control and mastery over what he or she can control.

Remember that your children – even if they are insightful or older -- are still children, and they do not possess the same internal resources that you possess as an adult in managing complicated and anxiety producing topics such as Ebola. As parents, you can do a lot toward reducing anxiety for Ebola for your children by communicating supportively and age appropriately, by minimizing exposure to the onslaught of upsetting news, and by helping your children to proactively take control over what they can control.

Dr. Michael Oberschneider is the founder and director of Ashburn Psychological and Psychiatric Services. Send questions tomoberschneider@hotmail.com.