What Happened to Your New Year Resolutions?

How many times have you made a resolution to change something about yourself or your life? How many times have you told yourself that you were going to get thinner, smarter, more organized, less worried, more in charge of your life or your time. . . etc.? Was it one time, two times, three times or more? Know that you are not alone and that millions of us can relate to you, because our human desire to fulfill any of these or other countless resolutions is part of our human experience. However, as human history has shown us, either individually or on a broader scale, many of us come to discover that despite our best efforts we get stuck in the status quo. And then, we tell ourselves that we dropped the ball. And yes, we tell ourselves, that me the smart, determined, capable person, failed to get that one thing accomplished. We get frustrated, collapse into a bubble of self-loathing rituals, and seek all sorts of distractions to quiet our “monkey mind” that loves to remind us that we just can’t do it.

Ring a bell?

One thing is for certain. . . you are not alone! Hopefully, knowing that there is strength in numbers (and, trust me there are millions of people out there just like you) will help you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put on a new set of glasses to see the world through. To help you, I’m going to share with you one of the most prized secrets in personal improvement plans. Simply put, the more you are focused on your actions and behaviors to change anything about yourself or your life, the more you will be stuck in the status quo. The only way that you will be able to achieve that which you desire most is by going within and beginning to evaluate your beliefs, thoughts and emotions. Begin to ask yourself now, how is this or that thought, belief and/or emotion holding me back, keeping me small; and hindering me from taking risks or leaving my comfort zone? It is only then that you will begin to see real change unfolding for you.

What’s holding you back from taking your transformative leap in 2015?

The prized secret is that the WHO in you is what needs to change first in order for everything else to also change. The WHO in you is the “cause” of everything in your life. Your actions and behavior are the “effect” of WHO you are. Once you change the cause, you will have a different effect. It is sequential and there is no way around it. I have never run into or heard of anyone who has succeeded to achieve and sustain change in their lives just on the level of their actions or behaviors. Don’t be fooled and don’t let anyone else fool you into thinking that by coming up with a “smarter way to DO things” you will be able to attain and sustain the change you seek. Doing will only yield better results when preceded by changing the way you think and feel.

To gain clarity and gain further knowledge on your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and attitude towards yourself, you must first and foremost become self-aware. To gain more self-awareness, you will need to dig a little bit deeper. How supportive are your beliefs? How positive are your thoughts? How upbeat and happy are your emotions on average? How much do you accept yourself? How much are you still stuck in the past or allowing yourself to fret about the future? These are questions to begin asking yourself today, if you truly, passionately and wholeheartedly want to achieve that desire that is burning inside of you.

As an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner (ELI-MP), I love using the ELI Assessment to help my clients discover their level of self-awareness. The ELI Assessment reveals where you fall on the seven levels of consciousness and points out the areas that you might want to consider focusing on to raise your self-awareness. I believe it is the most powerful tool out there to give you an accurate gauge on where you fall on the scale of self-awareness.

Emotional intelligence expert and scholar, Richard Boyatzis, once noted “awareness creates choice and when you have awareness you always choose what’s right for you and if you’re a mature person you choose what’s right for people around you.” It is really that simple. The minute you gain more self-awareness, you will begin to reevaluate your beliefs, thoughts and emotions. Also, your attitude toward yourself will tip in favor of self-acceptance. It is then and only then that you will begin to respond to life with actions and behaviors that are building blocks to your dreams.

Needless to say, additional work is also required to release any “blocks” that might be holding you back from becoming self-aware. These blocks, such as, limited beliefs and your inner critic, will have to be examined, confronted and overcome. It is only then that your thoughts will shift and your emotions will become more positive. And guess what, there has been a lot of talk and even scientific research to prove that “positive emotions transform us.” Social psychologist, Barbara Fredrickson contends that when we change our thoughts, we change ourselves on a cellular level, and consequently, our whole life changes!

Now that you’ve discovered the “secret” to why most personal improvement plans fail, what are you going to do about it? The new year is right around the corner and the future is ripe with endless possibilities. How comfortable are you in the status quo? What will you begin to do immediately to unleash your potential and live your dreams? As you entertain those questions, pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings, emotions and what could be holding you back from taking that transformative leap.

About Plus 1 Consulting: Plus 1 Consulting is a women-owned small business. We are a progressive and forward-thinking organization with a focus on helping our clients achieve measurable results in the areas of organizational design and professional development. Our unique methods foster a transformative growth in knowledge, skills and capabilities to help individuals and organizations liberate their performance from the status quo and unleash their full potential. We are located in Vienna, Virginia. We partner with clients in the Washington D.C. Metro area, across the United States, and around the world.