Meeting Joe Black

This is not the regularly scheduled column you were supposed to be reading this week. 

That column – based on suggestions by readers Mark Zalewski and Dave Olsen – was fun, full of Greendale references and (trust me on this) incredibly well written. It contained a rare thing for an ITB column – useful information. A masterpiece, really… my laptop was weeping actual tears of joy as I hit ‘save’.

Instead, Joe Black visited this week.  Joe Black is a forceful intruder, a real presence who demands the lion’s share of one’s attention. You actually know Joe Black.  I am sure you have had several run-ins with Mr. Black over the course of your life. You know how unpleasant – but I suppose necessary – Joe can be.

(Time out:  Being such obscure pop culture reference, allow me a moment to explain this whole ‘Joe Black’ thing. “Meet Joe Black” is a 1998 movie – painfully dull - starring Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt.  I am one of three people who actually liked this move, the other two being Anthony and Brad’s moms. Brad Pitt plays the role of Joe Black – a name given to him by Anthony Hopkins’ character, William Parrish.  It seems Mr. Parrish was reluctant to introduce Joe Black to his family by his real name, “Death”, aka “Grim Reaper”. Okay, lets get back to the column…) 

Popular legend has it Joe Black visits come in threes. Sure enough. Some of his visits hit close, others not so much.  Regardless, Joe always packs a powerful punch, a real death waltz – which is a good segue into the first of Joe Black’s recent visits:

Joe Black’s Visit Number One: Do you have 10 minutes?  Follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PTJHhUeAfc . If you are short on time jump to the 4 minute 20 second spot on this video rendition of Springsteen’s “Jungleland”.  That will get you to some beautiful tenor sax work by the beautiful Clarence Clemons, or as his boss called him, The Big Man.  There is music and there is music that transcends.  Before falling this week, Clarence definitely created the latter. Greendale, WI  and Asbury Park, NJ are two different worlds, to be sure.  I bet you would agree, ol’ Clarence plays equally well in both. 

Joe Black’s Visit Number Two: Maxine’s best days were – without question – well behind her. If you squinted your eyes, you could still see her former self – black, powerful, barrel-chested. Squirrels and chipmunks, solely based on her past reputation, respected – even feared - the Great Maxine. But we all knew Maxine’s weakness. Like many of us, she could not refuse a good rub behind the ears. Like me, this would cause her to flop to the ground and expose her belly. Maxine, our neighbor’s Black Lab, was not a good dog.  Max was a great dog.

Black’s Visit Number Three: Don’t we all have an Aunt Alice? That self-titled “Old Gal” with the impossibly white hair, quick wit and warm smile?  You know an Aunt Alice, right? The lover of the occasional cold beer and owner of an impressive quantity of unimpressive knick knacks? 

Up until just a few years ago, that was my family’s Aunt Alice. 

More recently, dementia progressed into full blown Alzheimer’s. Frankly, that robbed us of our real Aunt Alice.  It hurts to admit that sometimes you just wish Joe Black could be a bit timelier with his visits.  Life – one with value – is meant to be enjoyed. Alzheimer’s advances to the point where living becomes not quite death - but still the twisted opposite of real life. Come on Joe, call on this poor woman, take her home.

My wife Lisa, (Aunt Alice’s niece), teamed up with her mom Nancy (Aunt Alice’s much younger sister) to bravely and patiently help Aunt Alice keep some semblance of humanness in her life.  My sons knew if Lisa was not at home or work, she was either at the gym or with Aunt Alice.  Lisa made her Aunt – even when Alice became the pale  shadow of her former self –  part of her day, everyday. 

And Lisa kept Alice part of our family.  Right up until last Monday, when Joe Black finally called, Alice was a regular part of our dinner discussion. Thanks to Lisa’s brave, unselfish actions, we had our Aunt Alice right up until her last breath – which fittingly, Lisa and Nancy witnessed.  Lisa and Nancy patience and care dignified Alice’s last years of existence.  How cool is that?

So this was a Meet Joe Black week.  As you know, they happen.

And to Clarence, Maxine and Aunt Alice: Nice work.  You had a good run.  Take care and see you on the other side.