Part 4: Family Celebrates Life of a Father and Husband

Occasionally, even today, Vicki McCormick is eerily conscious and sensitive of her peripheral vision while watching the children's sporting, music and other events, half expecting her husband, Rob, to casually stroll out of the shadows and into view.

All five kids, after all, were not only "band geeks" but also heavily involved in athletics, theatre or other activities and Rob never missed any of the action, despite his busy, successful 30-year career as an attorney. Those changeless, joyfully shared routines, however, came to an unfair, sudden and shocking end on Jan. 3, 2007 when Rob died of a brain tumor near his right temporal lobe only one month after it was discovered and surgically removed.

Vicki and Rob would have celebrated 39 years of marriage in May of this year, along with four years of dating before that when they first met as members of the Marquette University Band during Coach Al McGuire's heyday. These days the void Vicki feels in Rob's absence is understandably deep.

"Some days are not so hot, but you just have to carry on," McCormick said, choking back tears and still adapting today to her loss. "Part of the recovery boils down to talking about him a lot and I try to get the kids to talk about him too. You never really have closure. Spring is always a reminder because every January Rob would say, 'Summer is near!' and it's tough that he's not here to enjoy it. He played tennis and basketball and coached soccer and baseball and his hobbies surrounded the kids' activities.

"There have been so many major marker events that have passed without him. Our daughter, Brenna, just graduated cum laude from UW-Eau Claire and hopes to teach in Spain next year. She was a freshman when Rob died and he missed all those years. Her college tennis team was really a strong support group for her. I miss Rob's insight a lot because obviously, besides me, he's the only one that has been involved with the  kids their whole lives. It's tough."

The first week of December in 2006 Rob McCormick came to his wife distraught and in tears and told her he was scared, experiencing his first symptoms of illness and unable to process thoughts, as if information was "falling off the edge of a table." An MRI taken on Dec 6 showed "not a small tumor," according to the doctor, and it turned out to be Glioblastoma multiforme (GBM), one of the most common and most malignant primary brain tumors, the same form that killed Senator Ted Kennedy. Surgery took place at St. Luke's Hospital the next day and Vicki, with a background in nursing and understanding  the seriousness of it all, admits that she "started grieving at that moment."

Four weeks later, with Rob still confined to the hospital, Vicki pulled up in her car to visit and immediately felt a "rush," still vivid in her mind, and intuitively knew something was wrong. She entered the hospital ward, saw flashing red lights and many people in Rob's room. The chaplain came out and met her and said, "It's not going well." Rob was pronounced dead that day at age 57. Today, she's still not completely over the shock, but is now willing and eager to talk about her husband and the many fond memories.

"Rob was a lot of fun, always had a joke, was always a tease and had a phenomenal sense of humor," said Vicki, 62, member of the Greendale Board of Education since 1998 and now in the business of selling new-construction condominiums. "He had a giving personality and opened his arms to everyone that needed him. His wake was amazing. I greeted people for four straight hours that came to pay their respects."

The McCormicks moved to Greendale from Milwaukee's northwest side in 1986 because it was the only school district that agreed to accept their son, Casey Ryan, age four then, who has cerebral palsy. Vicki called it the "best decision we ever made."

All the McCormick kids, by the way, have suitable Celtic middle names, befitting their Irish heritage. The other siblings are named Patrick Sean, Brenna Kaitlin, and the twins, and Meghan Clare. The twins are the youngest and just finished up their senior years at Greendale High School. Their mother is thankful they've had each other to lean on since the death of their father. And she's also able to laugh now as she recalled Rob being "on stun" mode for the first 18 months of the twins' lives, unable to comprehend the blessing of two babies at once, but loving it all the same.

"Our home has been Grand Central Station over the years with bonfires, foosball and Guitar Hero parties and we've gotten to know so many great, fine kids here in Greendale and I'm so thankful for that," said McCormick. "This is a fabulous, giving community and people care about their schools, volunteering, keeping their homes up...everything. And since Rob's death, and even before, people have been so good to our family. It's been amazing. I can't say enough about it--and I'll never leave!"

***This is the fourth of part of  a series of articles about people who had brain cancer or have lost someone to the illness.