Street Interview: What I Will Do This Summer

Ever find yourself doing something just because you have to?  Like your job? 

I got to be honest with you.  Suffering from PGS, (Post Graduation Syndrome), that is exactly where I am at as I tap out this week’s edition of Inside the Bubble. Really, if Viviana Buzo (Greendale Patch’s exceptional editor in chief) was not paying me obscene amounts of money to write a weekly column, I would have texted in sick.

(By the way, let’s keep my obscene pay a secret from the other columnists. Shhhhh.)

It will soon become very apparent to you that you are not getting my “A” Game.  You are getting a solid D+ game, maybe a C- if you are feeling generous.

But come on, you have had days like this too, right? It’s like I woke up on the wrong side of the Internet. 

I have a sore thesaurus.  I feel my modifiers dangling.  My punctuation… use,; - seems particularly” bad:.

It is times like this a writer either draws from somewhere deep within, or goes the ‘softball’ route.  Get ready for some underhanded pitches, my friend.

Digital recorder in hand, I took to the streets to find answers to this hard-hitting question: “What are you plans for the summer?”

Unfortunately, the street I hit was the Root River Parkway, meandering into our beautiful Whitnall Park.  Other than cyclist, who are basically unappraochable, there was not a human in sight. 

Undaunted – or perhaps just a little daunted and wanting to get this column done – I posed my ‘summer’ question to the other inhabitants of our park.  Caution: What you are about to read is raw footage.

ITB: So, you with the antlers, what are your plans for the summer?

DEER: Me? Oh, the usual.  I am taking my does on some amazing . Bring your appetites, girls!

ITB: Excellent. What looks good this summer?

DEER: Carrots. Flowers.  Anything freshly planted. I am very excited about this craze – 20 feet of goodness.

ITB: Nice.  So, any summer job prospects?

DEER: Self-employed.  My does and I have started a little tree trimming service.

ITB: I have seen your work.  I must say you are an avant-garde pruner.

DEER: Thank you. 

ITB: So, Garden Tours and tree eating – sounds like quite the summer.

DEER: You are welcome to join us.  You don’t have ticks, do you?

ITB: I might. 

DEER: Well then… got to run. Just remembered I got a big photo op over at the Boerner Botanical Gardens.

Still shy of 500 words, I boldly pressed on.  After some nasty hissing (mostly from me) I posed the same question to a member of the infamous Whitnall Park Goose Gang.

ITB:  Hey, Goose, what are your summer plans?

GOOSE:  Hanging with my goose posse.  Maybe get another tat.

ITB: Not real productive stuff.

GOOSE: Well, we also plan on extensive pooping in public areas of the park.

ITB: Maybe you should get another DNR wrist bracelet.  That is very fetching.

GOOSE: (More hissing) Yeah? Well, shut your beak.  Interview over.

With that the goose flew off, slowing down only to ‘tag’ my car. Relatively speaking, those garden touring deer look pretty good.

Bottom line, dear readers, it's Summer.  Whether you are in the park or the Village, living is easy here in Garden Community.

See you on the courts.