There’s a New, Big Bird in Town!

Hello again Greendale,

I’ve got HUGE news — in more ways than one. We all remember the Village’s on-going Blue Bird saga. For those of you new to the area, the plight of a large, man-made blue bird was the talk of the town for years, culminating with a mysterious “bird-napping” and beheading. 

I'm sure everyone thought that nothing could ever compare with the big, blue peeper. I’m here to tell you that there is a new bird in town. As I was taking my usual nosy, prying stroll around the village, I found myself on Arbutus Court. There, I happened upon an incredible six-foot tall rooster standing proud in the yard of a purple house!  

I know what you're thinking, “The Village Grandma ate too much Ricardo's pizza and was merely hallucinating.”

After carefully approaching the enormous bird and touching it with my own hands, I can confirm it is real. If you don't believe me, just take little stroll down the path connected to Arbutus Court and see it for yourself. It's nothing short of spectacular.

Here’s a note to teenage mischief-makers: Egging a car or a house is not in the same category as toilet papering a tree or two. Egging causes considerable damage. So, when a neighbor's car was egged our whole street was put on alert along with the local gendarmerie. So, to the egg-toting teens:  You might rethink your options. I'm just saying.

You should know that our public library held an ice cream social recently. Evidently, the event saw a wild boisterous crowd. My neighbor went to return her copy of “A Wild Surge of Guilty Passion” and came back with a scoop of vanilla ice cream in her hair. I'm sorry I missed it.

GREEN ALERT! Rumor has it that the powers that be in the Village are planning to locate the new water tower somewhere in the middle of the woods between Parkway and Westway. Red markings have been seen on several of the old stately trees. This is a clear indication that chainsaws can’t be far behind. If this is true, I am of the opinion that some sort of communication with villagers should be forthcoming. We are GREENdale after all — not BROWNsville. So let's hear from our elected representatives. They seem to be keeping any information on this very close to the vest.

I hear the economy is still struggling. But you'd never know it if you were trying to find a parking place at Southridge Mall. By the time a parking spot became available, I had already forgotten why I went there in the first place.

The new exit from Southridge onto Grange Avenue is quite impressive. But it may take a while for some folks to get used to it. Last week, I was aghast to see two near misses after an exiting car drove straight across to go into the Village center. I would blame the inattentive drivers, if I hadn't been one of them.

A big hurrah for Ricardo's Pizza! They would like to start some outside dining options. What a great idea! Visitors would see a busy friendly community with people chatting amongst the ambience of the village all the while enjoying a tasty meal. What could be more inviting? I see no reason why the Harmony in the Village Restaurant shouldn't follow suit. It works for Ferch’s. After a nice, al fresco meal, diners could pull on their hip boots and slog across Dale Creek where the Angle Lane Bridge remains in disrepair.

The 75th Anniversary Committee has finished their Countdown Calendar. You can purchase one at the Village Hall or — after throwing back a few cold ones — at Ray and Dots. For more information visit www.greendale.org/75.

I found a program on TV that featured a woman teaching cat massage. Apparently, you perform various cat massages and you then can form a better bond with your pet.  I tried it first on Nosferatu. She tolerated it, but no true bonding occurred. Gump on the other hand ... well lets just say it was not a huge success.

Must run now and redress the wounds on my hands and arms. Until next week.