This Week in Greendale

Dear Greendalers,

It's been another week of weather related isolation for most of us and it doesn't appear that there is much relief in sight. The big fluffy dog that is usually walked down my street at least three times a day is now down to one quick potty break.

The important business of the Village is still carrying on though.

Our Village Trustees, apparently oblivious to the heat, carried out their duties faithfully last week. They addressed the needs of many Villagers and visitors alike.. Details are sketchy, but in keeping with our quaint historical landscape, I suppose outhouses aren't totally off the table. 

That is another step in the right direction. F The renovations at the mall look pretty fancy. Then, due to utter exhaustion from all the hard work, they adjourned.

I hear that a repaving of the parking lots in the Village Center is imminent. The first clue was the plethora of barriers scattered randomly around the sidewalks. It might be nice to provide seating for those tourists who might want to watch the proceedings.

If you're looking for some fun entertainment the Greendale Community Theater will present it's summer offering, "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels". It is a play about all those elected representatives who can't seem to agree on anything (I may be mistaken about that).

The Greendale Public Library now has facilities for those of you who might want to send a fax. The cost will be $1.50 for the first page and $1.00 for each additional page. I’m just wondering who is still sending faxes these days.

Here is some good news. The firefighters who braved the heat last weekend to collect money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association raised nearly $9,000 …  job well done!

Greendale’s 75th anniversary celebration is looming. Well, maybe not looming exactly … more like coming in a couple of years. Anyway, the committee charged with the many festivities is looking for volunteers to help with various responsibilities. It sounds like another good way to contribute to our community. Let's all get out there and make this a memorable occasion.

You should know that the Greendale Historical Society is planning to host guided walking tours during Village Days in August. This will be a 45-minute tour of about a mile in length. The exact itinerary is not yet known.

You still have time to plant your seeds for the Tall Corn Contest. It doesn’t end until October 1. To my dismay, my neighbor with the green thumb has also planted a kernel of corn that is growing at a pretty amazing pace. I have suspicions that he might be secretly procuring some of my chicken-poop potion when I'm not looking. Of course, he's much too honorable to actually steal my special fertilizer. It probably just falls into his hands by accident. Much like how my other neighbor's raspberries accidentally appear in my pocket. 

, I have heard that a petition is going around to voice opposition to this.

In the past, I have expressed some doubt as to the work ethic of our elected representatives. However, after some research I find that they are hard at work solving the critical problems that face our country. For example, they have decided that, by 2015, all police vehicles shall be painted black and white. I'm not sure if this is an effort at racial harmony. But, it must solve some dire problem.

In another hard fought decision, our elected officials in Washington have come together with an agreement that we, as a nation, shall be able to use up all the incandescent light bulbs that are still on store shelves. I don't know about you, but given this, I'm sure feeling a lot more optimistic about the problems facing our nation.

I like to give helpful hints to those of you who read my articles. It is just my little way of giving back to the community.  This week is a health hint. Although raw lentils are crunchy and have a mild, pleasing nutlike flavor it is not a good idea to eat them directly out of the bag … especially, not the whole bag.  And yes, I do speak from personal experience. I find that they expand a lot when washed down with root beer, resulting in considerable discomfort. This is just a little heads up for all of you who might be tempted.

Well, I must run. I found a website that sells hairpieces for cats. So, I am anxious to put my order in. I'm thinking a “Marilyn Monroe” do for Nosferatu and the “Albert Einstein” model for Gump.