Mallards as Metaphor...Or, Life's Paradoxes

Marge left town for several months. And, she’s back. Then, as a creature of habit who enjoys her own habitat, Marge did the rounds to see what had gone on around town during her absence.

While visiting colleagues at Oakland’s 5th Avenue Marina, Marge heard “live-aboards” – the hearty folks who live on sailboats - refer to mallard drakes as “rapists”. Now, before tut-tutting that a bunch of know-nothing-no-money-no-social-power folks who can’t –or won’t - pay rent or mortgage for a “real” place are trivializing a serious crime, let Marge explain.

Like all hierarchical systems, duck communities have a pecking order with - no surprise – males in the top spots. Even to a non-avian observer, mallard drakes appear to take their top-spot privileges seriously - and insist on underlings taking it even more seriously than they do. So, for example, females and young males must walk or paddle one-drake-length behind the big duck tail; an underling must submit absolutely to harassment dished out by higher ups. Underlings flouting the hierarchy are terrorized back into line, either by a single male acting alone…or by a gang of males acting with one mind -- the mafia equivalent of the Anas platyrhynchos [wild duck] realm.
Enforcing mallard privilege is particularly important during the spring when drakes are burdened with the responsibility of perpetuating their kind. Any female, including one already nesting or caring for young, is up for grabs. Being airborne is no guarantee of safety since it is not uncommon for four or five drakes to accost hens in aerial maneuvers that give new meaning to “sky jacking”.

Marge has witnessed the mallard mafia attempt aerial copulation but, so far, she has not seen even the most robust coalition of this willing succeed at aerial invasion. Anyway, males don’t need acrobatic skill for females in flight eventually tire. Upon landing, the female is forced into a cluster-fuck of feather-flying brutality…with loud quacks of male delight encouraging other males to join in, too.
Afterwards, the female staggers momentarily then fluffs her feathers, holds her beaks high…and re-joins the flock – as if nothing untoward just happened. Marge was outraged when first introduced to mallard duck lore and facts on the ground. Why do females not fight back, protest, do something about their mistreatment? It didn’t take long for Marge to see that she was merely flailing at the surface of deep, dark life and times. ...

... ooops, running out of Patch patch. So, to read the rest of this piece, go to http://margeandsergei.blogspot.com

Meanwhile, let Marge give you the photo credit - Susan Galleymore - and the photo caption:

One mother, one duckling - two survivors!
[BTW, for all you birders out there: “According to serious ‘birders’ “mallards frequently interbreed with their closest relatives in the genus Anas and with species more distantly related (e.g., the northern pintail) leading to various hybrids that may be fully fertile. This is quite unusual among different species and may be as a result of the mallard evolvingvery rapidly and recently (during the Late Pleistocene). Mallards and their domesticated conspecifics are also fully interfertile.”] This is why this female does not look exactly like your picture perfect mallard hen. She’s a product of “mallard evolution” and “interfertility”. Gangbanging by any other name....