'Put Down the Books, Pick Up the Child'

As Jamie Ireland’s father said, “Put down the books and pick up the child.”

This week, Patch asked the Castro Valley Moms Council for advice based on hindsight: “Knowing what you know now, are there things you would do differently with regard to your children?”

The answers varied little, with moms saying in unison: Trust your instincts.

“I would not have worried so much about whether or not I was doing things ‘right’ when my children were babies,” said Dana Leipold. “You hear this all the time, but it really is true: Time goes so fast as your children grow up. Enjoy each age to its fullest. 

“It's hard when you are a first-time mother to just be in the moment and really enjoy bonding with your baby,” Dana said. “There are so many things to be concerned about, but the reality is that as long as you care for your baby in the way you intrinsically know how, you can forget all the other stuff and just take in every precious moment.”

Tracy Mills: “Just remember we are raising children to be functioning adults in our society and that your kids don't have to be happy all the time to mean you are a good parent. Also don't sweat those few days when the dishes didn't get done, the clothes didn't match and the floor didn't get vacuumed. What is important is that your kids know they matter to you and the best way to show it is to spend time with them.”

Kendra Galordi Frautnick: “My personal story involves an unhappy marriage to my girls’ dad, a difficult divorce, and becoming a very stressed-out working, single mom with a newborn and a 2-year-old … and then a happier ending, finding a wonderful new husband and stepson. 

“In hindsight, I wish hadn’t had so much stress, as it inevitably ended up affecting my children. … Now I show my children what it is like to be happy and stable and treated with respect and love. 

“And then there is my daughter who has many learning disabilities and challenges. I wish I had taken action sooner with the school district. I wish I had educated myself more and not waited so long to find her the proper help. 

“If I could offer any advice, it would be to follow that ‘hunch’ you have, to not take ‘no’ for an answer, and to invest financially—whatever it costs—into helping your child no matter what ‘should’ be paid for by the school district (or insurance, or whatever entity is saying there is nothing wrong). You do not want to look back and wish you had just done something sooner.”  

Gail Morris: “Take advantage of and enjoy every moment, every stage and every step along the way!”